Sharper Than Steel
by darkmask133
Summary: As an assassin, Alina is all too familiar with the phrase "Kill or be killed". She doesn't expect mercy from anyone, least of all Loki. If being taken prisoner by the God of Mischief can be called mercy. Rated M just in case.
1. Such A Prize

**Right then. Lets see if I can do this fan-fiction properly. Please leave a review if you'd be so kind.**

It was a strange thing, the aftermath of a battle. The silence that hung over the field of corpses was not an easy thing to get used to. Yet Loki found that there was something else that unnerved him. His hearing was better than that of mortals. While Thor, crown prince of Asgard, was helping pile the bodies (it was only respectful after all), Loki stepped quietly among the rest, his emerald green cloak gently flapping in the wind. That noise…it sounded an awful lot like…breathing. Then out of the corner of his eye, Loki thought he detected a slight shift of movement. The intake of air continued, faster. He snapped his head to the side. One corpse caught his attention. It was not the large strong muscular build of a man. No this was quite small. Loki, using magic, shielded himself from view.

* * *

Alina knew that her discovery was inevitable. It was part of the plan after all but it didn't mean she had to like it. Breathing heavily, she made it onto her knees. Normally she would have kept her helmet but she didn't want her view limited as she tugged it off her head. Yet she hadn't even had the chance to uncover her mouth (as the lower half of her face was covered) when she felt a blade at her throat.

* * *

"Well you're far from home aren't you?" he said quietly. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a braid, a few loose strands here and there. She looked like she hadn't had a bath in days. Still keeping the steel at her skin, Loki knelt down in front of her, eyes meeting a pair as deep and wide a green as his own. If she bothered to clean up and put on silk instead of steel, she could be quite attractive. He reached out and gently drew the mask down around her neck so Loki could see her face in its full view.

"And does the lady have a name?" Loki asked. By the way she looked at him; one would think he'd just called her a very rude insult. Slowly, Loki lowered the blade. Still his question was met with silence and a steady gaze. He sighed;

"You're going to have to talk if you want to get through this" he advised. No sooner had he finished speaking as she suddenly lashed out at his face. Though it didn't do much harm, Loki could feel the metal plates covering her fingers as she tried to inflict some sort of pain.

"You must be truly desperate" he saw her stiffen and whip her head to look behind her. With magic, Loki had easily created a doppelganger behind her. As her mind tried to work out what in the seven hells she was seeing, Loki slammed his hand over her mouth, barely wincing as she tried to sink her teeth into his hand. He pushed her until her back met the ground below them and he was practically on top of her.

* * *

Assassin or no assassin, Alina wasn't quite so accepting of being handled this way. But then Loki was an arrogant bastard who did what he wanted, when he wanted, and how he wanted with no one to tell him off. Alina was wondering who was going to benefit from this assignment but she was damn sure it was not her. Yet with the scars on her back, she hadn't exactly been able to refuse. She knew all too well what happened the last time.

* * *

"This doesn't have to be so difficult my lady" he said smoothly as she tried to hit his arm with both hands.

"I'm not-"

"So you do speak. Anatomically, you are a woman. Now why aren't you dressed like one?"

"Fuck you!" she snarled. Loki frowned.

"Such a tongue. Any other army would probably be doing such an act to you until you couldn't feel your legs. Consider yourself lucky" he replied. Her struggles abated somewhat. She was probably afraid. But her posture and facial expression were still hostile.

"Then just kill me" she said, rather calmly.

"Is that really what you want, Lady?"

"If it means you'll stop calling me that, then please"

"I have a better idea" Loki smirked. Even in her steel attire, she was still not hard to lift.

" _What?! HEY. What the-? Let go of me!"_ Loki whispered a few foreign sounding words and within seconds, his new charge was asleep in his arms.

As the healers looked over her unconscious body for any further injury, Loki noticed that without her armor, she looked even smaller. Only something would have to be done about the black sleeveless tunic and pants she wore. Even the lowest in Asgard lived better than her. He picked up the sheathed blade that had been hanging from her belt. It was fine steelwork. Upon closer inspection, Loki could see a small engraving in the metal nearest the hilt:

Alina


	2. In The Air Tonight

**Well the humidity and heat has finally let up and allowed me to write...or type really. Writer's block and sadness combined with such weather are even worse. Its not too good but I will make a better effort the next time around. I hope you are all having a good day and staying cool in this damned summer heat :)**

A scream shattered the night's stillness. It was several hours before they would begin making the short journey home and thus an unwelcome awakening.

Loki wiped the sleep from his eyes, grabbed his cloak and left his tent with a sigh. This should be interesting.

* * *

The darkness of the forest whipped past Alina's eyes as she ran, hoping that the cool night air would dispel the remnants of her nightmare. To wake up as a prisoner of war didn't help. She knew she couldn't outrun any member of the Asgardian army by a long shot. That was probably why she hadn't any restraints or shackles. Alina simply wanted a few moments to herself in the dark.

The phantom burning on her back was at once assuaged as she took a step too far and crashed into the icy river. Cold shot through her limbs, currents carried her underneath, the only abandon she wanted, floating, encased in darkness. Soon the only burning was within her lungs and not from the ghosts of her past. Alina held on for as long as she could before bursting to the surface, digging her boots into the soft mud below her to stop the current from taking her further downstream.

She hauled herself onto one of the many rocks dotting the river, heaving as she laid on her stomach, on the stony flat surface. Shivering, Alina remained still, ignoring the faint shouts behind, closing her eyes. At this point, she no longer cared what happened. It wasn't her desire to die. It was her desire to be alone, even for a few moments.

* * *

It had taken a while to calm things down, to convince Thor that a search party was not necessary, and to reiterate the fact that Loki had been the one to find Alina in the first place, making her his responsibility. Loki would be damned if he let Thor play the white knight for the umpteenth time. Not that Loki had any intention of winning Alina's loyalty or whatever one wanted to call it.

Fortunately, Loki was well equipped to see in the dark. Her hasty trail of footprints was easy enough to follow until he came to the edge of the river. Loki moved swiftly and silently as a hunter stalks its prey as opposed to Thor's noisy gait. Sure enough, he could make out the pale skin of Alina's arms, against her dark clothing on a rock in the middle of the rushing water.

Slowly Loki breathed out. The rushing cascade of the water suddenly quieted and it seemed to still. He raised a boot against the dark surface. Instantly, under Loki's step, the water solidified until he was walking on a path of unseasonable ice like it was a garden path. Soon enough, he was standing over Alina's sleeping form. How she could sleep after plunging into the cold water was a strange feat for a mortal.

"Well aren't you an odd one...Do you generally cause such disruption?" he murmured. Alina didn't stir until he placed two fingers to her neck, feeling for a pulse. She shifted slightly away from his touch.

"Mmmf" was her soft response. It was a while before Loki spoke again.

"I have a feeling you're going to be quite amusing" he chuckled softly.

Alina shifted until she was on the very edge of the rock which wasn't much. Loki sighed, unbuttoning the cloak from around his shoulders.

"You'll catch your death" he draped it over her before picking Alina up in his arms as easily as he had the first time. Only this time he had no need of magic to silence her. She was silent all on her own, eyes closed, head on his shoulder. The mortal must have forgone sleep for days.

"Back to bed with you"

"Not yours" Alina grumbled suddenly, fingers gripping his shoulder. Loki merely chuckled again.

"Not to worry" he replied. Alina's grip loosened gradually until her even breathing was enough to tell Loki she'd gone right back to sleep.


	3. I'm Sorry For Today

**Stay cool in this damned heat and enjoy this chapter :)**

One of the first things Loki had arranged upon returning to Asgard, was for Alina to have a bath. Prisoner or not, she was going to be clean if he had any say about it.

* * *

Alina warily followed the maid she had been left with. She had been expecting a guard or something. Instead was a woman with blond hair and blue eyes who looked much better treated than most servants Alina had seen on Earth.

She was soft spoken and seemed to understand that Alina didn't want to be touched.

"Helen, lady" she responded when Alina asked for her name. Alina didn't even bother to tell Helen that she was not a lady. The woman was merely doing her job.

They walked through several hallways until they came to a room with several large in ground baths. One of them was already in use by a couple of other women. Alina ignored the looks she was getting. It wasn't just because she was dirty or dressed in military clothing. It was because Alina was mortal, more than anything else. A thought then entered her mind that made her stop walking.

She would have to undress in front of these ladies. There were only about 4 of them and none of the other baths were occupied. But thinking about her back….Alina swallowed hard. She didn't know what she was getting so upset about and hoped it didn't show on her face as Helen tested the water of the pool next to theirs.

Her fingers clenched around the folded towel and robe she'd been given.

"My lady?" Helen's fingers softly brushed Alina's hand, her gaze not unkind.

"I…." Alina wanted to take a bath. But she couldn't quite get the words out and shook her head instead.

"I don't understand" Helen replied.

Alina swallowed hard before finally opening her mouth.

"Could you please leave me?" she asked softly.

"His highness ordered me not to leave you" Helen replied, her tone apologetic.

"The fault is with me. You may inform him if you like" Alina winced, wishing she hadn't said that last bit. "Please" she added.

A moment of silence hung between them both before Helen bowed her head and left Alina. Alina hadn't meant to be unkind towards Helen. She'd probably made things worse. Swallowing past the tightness of her throat, Alina breathed out.

She would not be afraid. These women and everyone in this place was nothing to her, as she was to them.

Alina set down her things and undid her hair from its braid before starting to undress, ignoring the sudden silence when she slid off her tunic.

Her back was a series of scars from the bite of a whip. Every crack was burned into her mind as well as her skin. She certainly had earned them.

All because she wouldn't give herself to a commanding officer and then refused again when that same commanding officer had wanted her to murder a child who was only eight years old. She had passed out after the twenty fifth lash and it had taken at least a month for Alina to be able to stand up straight again.

She still had nightmares about it.

Shaking her head again and leaving her clothes in a heap, Alina sighed in relief as she stepped into the hot water. It felt wonderful and almost unreal after weeks of roughing it.

"Don't they have hot water down there?"

A slightly accented voice snapped Alina out of her momentary reprieve. She looked to the side, jolted to see a girl not much older than her, sitting on the edge of Alina's bath. She had on a fine silk robe and her wet hair was the color of flames. She was quite pretty.

Alina gave a single nod as she couldn't quite bring herself to speak.

* * *

Cheek sinking into his palm, Loki aimlessly moved his fork around his dinner plate. Thor and Odin were having a discussion of some sort. He took no notice of the concerned looks Frigga was giving him.

"So Loki, as I understand, Thor tells me you have a new friend staying with us?" she said kindly. Loki dropped his fork, snapping his head out of his hand to glare at Thor.

"She asked a question" Thor replied, taking a large bite of pheasant. Loki scowled. 'Friend' was far from the term he'd use to describe Alina.

"Loki darling are you well?" Frigga asked, her voice as always marked with a mother's concern. She put a hand to his cheek. "You've hardly touched your smoked sea slug"

"I think Loki has a heart condition mother" Thor grinned. Loki was just getting it in his head to whip out a retort when a guard suddenly approached the table. He apologized for interrupting dinner before turning to Loki.

Loki closed his eyes and took a deep breath before pushing his chair back and went to where Helen stood, waiting in the hall.

* * *

"Oh don't be mean Yara" cooed one of the other women. Yara had just asked if Alina was pregnant, implying that Alina was Loki's mistress or whore or whatever.

The question was so unwelcomingly unexpected that Alina, who hadn't said a single word, turned her gaze and looked Yara straight in the eye. A look that quite plainly stated: Fuck off.

The staring match continued until another much older woman entered and clapped her hands.

"Come on ladies"

"But we still have ten minutes" said one.

"Not today you don't" the lady said matter of factly. The women giggled and started to leave. Was there some limit on how long a woman could stay in the bath without her skin pruning? Well Alina didn't much care and was glad when they all left and she was by herself at last.

She had the sudden ridiculous urge to cry all of a sudden but quickly tamped down on her emotion. There were always people like Yara and Yara was far from the worst she'd had to deal with.

But after ten minutes with her back turned, Alina couldn't explain it, couldn't explain how she knew Loki was standing there near the steps that led into the bath. She didn't even turn. She merely walked to the edge and took the towel, not caring that the water was up to her shoulders or the purpose of a towel would be useless if it was soaking wet. Alina wrapped it firmly under her arms.

"Can I help you?" she said in a low tone after a bit.

"I could ask you the same question. I can't imagine scars like that are easy to reach" Loki said, a faint smile on his face. Alina found a slight blush in her cheeks. She didn't like to talk about it nor was she comfortable that Loki had found a nerve to strike at.

Nor did she like the fact that she was practically naked in front of him, save for the towel.

"How did you come by those?" he asked.

"It's none of your business" Alina replied simply, walking up the steps, not looking at him as she shook the folds of her grey robe open, pulling it around herself before removing the soaked towel and tying it closed.

"You Midgardians can be quite…savage to one another" Loki remarked.

"What do you care?" Alina whirled around. Loki looked almost...concerned? Gentle?

"You're in my charge" Loki attempted to touch her face. It was there for only a second before Alina grabbed his hand, shoving it away. "It's my job to care"

"I don't need taking care of, least of all from you" Alina replied coldly. She attempted to walk by him but Loki's hand took her arm, not roughly but enough to stop her.

"I told Helen I would escort you back to your room. You may just get lost and wind up in the dungeons"

"I'll take my chances" Alina snapped "I should probably be there anyway"

"Am I correct in assuming that you prefer to be starved, stripped, beaten and thrown in a cell to wither away and be used like a bitch for whatever remains of your pathetic mortal life?" Loki replied, his voice dangerously soft. "Because I know a few unsavory characters that would just have a marvelous time with you down there, ones who haven't known your like for years."

"Let go of me" Alina said, swallowing again, trying to remain calm.

"Any other young woman would gladly enjoy a walk with a prince…yet you quake at the merest brush of my fingers"

Loki reached to touch her face again. Alina's temper immediately flared. Prisoner or not, she was nobody's plaything, to be toyed with at a whim.

A brief glimmer of anger shone in his eyes for an instant before Alina's push sent him backwards into the pool, fully clothed. She had half a mind to run but there was nowhere to run to.

She waited for him to burst back out in fury as the water attempted to right itself….yet as it did, Alina could clearly see the floor of the stone bath. Loki wasn't there.

Alina stepped ankle deep back into the waters. He couldn't have drowned; he could have stood up if he had wanted to once he got his bearings.

Soon Alina was waste deep into the water, trying to process what had just happened when suddenly a hand wrapped around her ankle. She was yanked under the surface, now face to face with a livid Loki. She scrambled back to the surface, heaving and gasping for breath, trying to get her own bearings before Loki followed suite. He yanked her up against him from behind, hand to her throat and the other in an iron grasp about her waist.

"I can last a lot longer down there than you can, _mortal_ " he hissed, every syllable filled with rage, dragging them both under before Alina could do more than whimper.


	4. Before Everything

**Good night and enjoy :)**

 _After hours of a kneeling position, bent over on a hard block of stone, Alina couldn't feel her knees or the tips of her fingers. The back of her shirt was ripped open and rope cut into the soft skin of her wrists. But the cramps were nothing compared to the leather whip peeling her skin like an apple combined with the heat of the sun, setting her aflame. Blood dripped down her sides._

 _This was all horribly familiar….well almost all of it. The terribly soft voice that spoke next was quite new._

 _"Poor bird. Look what they've done to you"_

 _No. No please not here. He couldn't be here, he shouldn't be here._

 _Alina felt a sudden unearthly cold as Loki's fingers gently touched her freshly opened skin. Then it was not simply his fingers as he placed the whole of his icy palm to her scorched back. It stung yet at the same time brought a relief so immense, Alina couldn't suppress a moan._

 _"Now what could have possibly earned you such grief?"_

 _"Mmmf"_

 _As Loki knelt over her, he placed his other palm on her leg, gently moving up and down but Alina's legs were so numb she couldn't feel it._

 _It was only upon feeling the icy sting of his lips on the nape of Alina's neck that she suddenly awoke with a start._

* * *

Alina sat bolt upright, breathing hard. A light sheen of sweat was on her face, a sprinkle of rain in comparison to the memory within her dream. Sighing, Alina wiped her face with her sleeve.

Her…sleeve?

Alina looked at her arm, then down at the rest of her body with a slight jolt. Her former clothing had been replaced with a dress that would better suit a noblewoman than herself. Silk, fitted, a nice shade of forest green with long bell sleeves, nothing Alina could ever have afforded. The dress itself wasn't the problem. The problem was how this dress had gotten on her person in the first place.

Before her mind could jump to the worst conclusion, Alina steadied herself, taking in her surroundings. The bed underneath her was one of the softest things she'd ever felt. She moved so she was sitting on the edge. A pair of matching green slippers adorned her feet. Moving her legs gently, Alina found she could walk. She wasn't sore except perhaps in her back.

But still, Alina cringed at the thought of Loki seeing her naked without her consent. She wrapped her arms around herself as if that would be a comfort. Looking up, the room about her was bare except for a fireplace, small wardrobe; a window and a door that was…open?

Was this some sort of test?

Alina slowly slipped out the door, standing in a carved stone hallway. It was empty and the sun was just beginning to set, judging by the fading light of the colored glass windows.

She had hardly taken a step when;

"Curious little bird"

Alina whirled around. Calm as ever, leaning right next to the door and looking at her as if she was his own personal amusement, was Loki.

She at once remembered her last memory before waking up here and was none too pleased by it. Alina crossed her arms; fixing Loki with a stare that she hoped didn't display weakness.

"My lady seems displeased. Whatever's the matter?"

"Would you like me to go down the list?" Alina growled.

"By all means" Loki replied, smiling, crossing his arms as well. Alina suddenly hesitated, taking a moment to collect her thoughts, which was proving to be difficult. Loki held up a finger. "And before you begin your list of grievances, I suggest you do so with a bit more respect. You're speaking to royalty"

"Yet you've done nothing to earn it" Alina retorted.

"I've spared whatever remains of your mortal life. Twice I might add"

"How did I get here?" Alina snapped.

"I carried you"

"And?" Alina snarled, her face turning a slight shade of crimson, hands curled into fists.

"And what?" Loki tilted his head slightly. Alina swallowed, staring at the floor. Loki's smile widened an inch or two. "Now darling there's nothing to be embarrassed about"

Alina's face was unbearably warm, her nails digging into her arms. Loki snickered.

"Relax, it was the maid"

"Oh" Alina, still flushed, sighed in relief.

"How does the maid differ from me? Do you prefer women?"

"I-I…It's her job" Alina spluttered. Though she rather would have preferred to dress herself, it was what it was. And as for whether Alina preferred women, she wouldn't know as she hadn't been with either gender.

"Before you pushed me, I seem to remember reminding you that it's my job to care for you"

"And yet you nearly drowned me. Quite an odd way of caring" Alina suddenly had the urge to stifle a huge yawn. "Why are you here?"

"I had hoped to apologize and invite my lady to dinner, unless you'd prefer to sleep on an empty stomach"

"Stop calling me that" Alina glared.

"As my lady commands" Loki smirked.

"Look" Alina snapped, walking right up to him in a few swift strides. Loki saw her falter just the slightest bit but he didn't move, watching the stirrings of fury in her eyes. She saw nothing but amusement and a hint of surprise in his. "I am not your anything. I-Am-Not-Yours.I am not your lady, your whore, toy, or anything else for that matter. So you can just shut-!"

In a movement so subtle that it cut her sentence, Loki shifted, taking a step towards her. Then he took another and another as she stepped backwards in response.

"Than what are you? I should think to show a bit more gratitude if the roles were reversed" His body was like a coiling snake, preparing to strike. "I could have you flayed down to the bone and have you still alive to writhe in agony in comparison to what your mortal compatriots afflicted"

"Stop it" Alina swallowed again.

"Another thing you mortals fail to understand is that your actions have consequences"

Alina's back was to the wall now. She held his gaze for a while longer until turning her head to the side.

"Look at me"

Alina merely closed her eyes, keeping her face averted. Until Loki slowly slipped his fingers under her chin.

"You mortals are like children. Difficult and savage if left to your own devices"

Alina's eyes snapped open. She hadn't been a child for quite some time. Loki's eyes were so narrow that they almost resembled that of a snake's.

"You should tread a bit more carefully little bird"

"What do you want?" Alina's response was no more than a whisper.

A deeper voice made Alina jump slightly, grabbing Loki's hand and pushing it down by his side.

"Brother?" They both turned to see Thor, having just come around the corner. "I came to see what was keeping you from dinner"

"Ah I just wanted to escort my lady. War isn't too kind to the stomach after all, I told you I invited her"

"You did?" came Alina and Thor's response in unison.

"It's only polite after all. Do try to behave yourself".

Alina suddenly felt as if she was going to be very sick.


	5. Background Noise

**I hope you enjoy. No mind-ruining heat today. I need October to hurry up and arrive.**

Alina merely walked by Loki's side down the halls, refusing to take his arm. When he asked why;

"I…I don't know you well enough"

"It's a walk to dinner. Not a dance"

"Then I am sure you will survive" Alina replied. Loki shrugged.

"Will you?"

Alina stopped walking.

"You…said dinner"

"Well yes. But we'll be seated with Lady Sif and the Warriors Three some of the Asgard's fiercest fighters. In fact, they might kill you on the spot" Loki said, doing his best to keep a straight face, knowing they'd do no such thing.

"If you don't bore me to death first" Alina said calmly, walking along.

* * *

To say Alina felt out of place as she sat at the table would be quite the understatement. She sat across from Lady Sif, with Loki to her right, settled in front of a bowl of broth.

Loki was conversing with a rather large fellow across from him. Vol-something. Everyone else had a much fuller plate than her. If Loki was attempting to offend her, Alina hoped he'd be disappointed. Having not eaten a proper meal in several weeks, Alina knew she could easily make herself sick if she ate too much or too fast. It was best to just take small servings until she could eat something without throwing up. She wasn't used to such quality and quantity of food and was quite sure one of the dishes had a face on it but didn't dare ask.

But Alina was no idiot. She carefully stirred with a spoon, sniffing, using her knowledge to make sure it wasn't poisoned. Knowing Loki, poisoning her food might be his idea of a jest. She felt like some sort of extraterrestrial life form and that-in one way or another- everyone was staring at her.

A few spoonfuls later, Alina found she was still breathing and the pain in her stomach had lessened somewhat.

"How does a Midgardian woman such as yourself manage such a profession?" Sif asked. Her voice wasn't unkind but it wasn't warm either.

Alina swallowed the warm liquid before replying, keeping her tone quiet and respectful.

"The same as anyone, Lady Sif"

"I was aware most mortal women are homemakers, not assassins" Sif said before taking a bite of her own food.

"I prefer to live on my feet. Not on my back" Alina replied, just a tad harder than she meant to. She had the strange feeling that Loki was listening.

"I meant no offense. It's just a bit unusual"

"Well Midgardian males can be a bit stubborn when the female attempts to fulfill less subservient positions" Loki added. "I shudder to think of the things Heimdall has seen"

As Alina felt her fingers slightly trembling, she quickly grabbed an apple. Her fingers tentatively closed around the red shiny fruit and took a bite. The crisp texture felt good in her mouth. Alina closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the first real solid food she'd had in days before opening again. Instead of seeing healthy white flesh, it was horribly rotted and black. Alina suddenly choked, dropping the apple, spitting it out in a most unmannerly fashion.

Once Alina had time to catch her breath, it was only that she noticed Loki was smothering a laugh.

"A joke. Don't they have them on Midgard?" he smirked. Alina could only stare in silent anger. Thor and everyone else looked as if they weren't sure whether or not to get involved. Dead silence hung about the table. Loki sighed, reaching over to pick up the now perfectly healthy bitten apple. He had only just held it to Alina as she grabbed a dinner knife off the table, the blade now pressed to Loki's pale throat.

Everyone started, Thor had a hand on his hammer, Sif reaching into a pouch of some sort, and yet Loki looked disappointingly unfazed, his green eyes steadily meeting hers.

"Now all of you calm yourselves" Loki said, holding his free hand up at his friends.

"She has a blade at your neck!" The large one protested.

"Well as Lady Sif so astutely pointed out, she is an assassin. Only this isn't quite the way I hoped she would take to dinner"

Alina maintained a tight grip on the handle. She wasn't quite sure what direction she had intended to take with this action. She had just wanted Loki to back off. But he seemed to love a challenge.

Loki slowly wrapped his free hand on her wrist.

"Loki" Thor warned. The way Loki tilted his head slightly quite clearly indicated that he was about to make her regret this.

In her hand, Alina felt a few slight gentle pricks…which quickly turned to sharp stabs like a thousand cold needles penetrating her skin. Her fingers started to go numb and gradually loosen. She swore she heard a slight crackling noise like that of cracking ice when you step on it. Soon she was unable to feel her whole arm and couldn't pull away. Loki put down the apple and put his hand under hers where the knife slipped from her frozen fingers and into his.

Alina could only stare as Loki pressed his lips to her hand. It was a few seconds before Alina could numbly pull her hand away, setting her hand against the bowl in front of her. The warmth helped to chase the chill away. She simply stared at the now untouched apple.

For a moment, she swore that Loki's eyes had been almost as red.


	6. Sugar Storm

**Rain and coffee. I'm ready to welcome October and the coming winter with open arms. I hope you lovely followers enjoy :)**

Alina stealthily crept along the darkened hallway, armed with naught but a needle she found on the floor. She resented the pale white of her nightgown, rather vivid in the moonlight, so she kept her back to the wall.

What monsters resided in these fine halls?

There were some flowers that on the surface looked as fresh and beautiful with temptingly soft petals. Yet within the roots, it was susceptible to rotting. Every rose had its thorns.

It was rather cold and Alina couldn't help a shiver every now and then. The fabric of her nightgown was thinner than she would have liked. She was just glad it wasn't sheer. Unless someone dumped a bucket of water on her, her modesty would remain intact.

Unfortunately, one hallway led to another, and another until Alina was quite sure she was lost. Her steps grew swifter as every shadow took a malevolent shape and every gust of wind was like someone breathing down her neck. She was moving faster and faster until she hit something quite solid, sending her on her back.

She closed her eyes, ashamed at her irrational terror, fully expecting to see a hideous red-eyed creature ready to devour her. But when Alina finally opened her gaze, she found it wasn't a monster at all, but a woman.

The woman had long golden hair, which was draped over her shoulder in a braid and a kind face. A bright green flame hovered in the palm of her hand, gently illuminating the space around them. Alina shook her head a few times but the flame simply hovered on its own, without relying on a stick of candlewax.

 _Is she some sort of witch? I killed a witch once…or at least she claimed she was and my bloodline would be cursed if I killed her. Anyone who lived through that soup would probably consider themselves cursed. It took three days to wash the taste out. I killed her anyway. But-_

"I assure you I am many things, child. Though a witch is not one of them" the woman said kindly, voice tinged with amusement.

"I didn't call you one" Alina replied a little shakily. "A-and I'm not a child" she added.

"Well when you're as old as I am, one sees things quite differently"

Alina frowned slightly. The woman didn't look a day over forty at the very least.

"And-"Alina cleared her throat "How old are you exactly?"

"I just celebrated my one thousand and third birthday" she beamed. Alina could only stare. The woman shrugged as if it was completely normal. "Well Fate seems to have favored me tonight. I've been telling Loki for weeks if I might meet you-"

"Who are you?" Alina blurted, now becoming a bit more frightened.

"Oh. Well I guess somethings do slip from my mind. I am Frigga, Queen mother, wife of Odin-"

"You're…Loki's mother?"

"Adopted mother really but I love him just as if I'd birthed him myself" Frigga said. Alina tried to picture Frigga raising Loki. It was rather disturbing.

"He took to his naps much easier than Thor"

Alina closed her eyes, holding in several breaths. This was rather disconcerting, the way Frigga seemed to know every thought in Alina's head. Alina tried to remind herself that reality differed here than it did on earth. There were certainly no portable hovering green flames and definitely no millennial aged humans. This was nothing she was ever trained for.

"I simply fancied a walk and here we are" Frigga shrugged.

"What time is it?" Alina asked slowly.

"Three hours before sunrise" Frigga replied. "Would you care for a drink?"

Unsure of what else to do and not wanting to offend Frigga, Alina nodded a bit numbly.

"A nice hot chocolate is just the thing for this time of night" Frigga smiled.

Soon, they were sitting in a balcony of sorts, overlooking the whole of the city of Asgard. Oddly enough, Alina couldn't remember the trip there. Her stiff posture softened somewhat as she took a sip of the warm soothing chocolate liquid.

"Loki tells me you've had some troubles"

"Well Loki shouldn't speak of things he knows nothing about" Alina murmured, her fingers tightening just slightly around her cup.

"How old were you when you started…?" Frigga trailed off.

"Eight. But I didn't have my first kill until I was twelve. My parents died of an illness and the only other options were to starve or join a…brothel" Alina sighed, taking a sip, wondering why she was telling the Queen any of this.

"The human world can be quite harsh from what I've been told. Sometimes I go and sit with Heimdall, the Gate Keeper"

"How much does he-Heimdall-see?" Alina tilted her head, confused how one being could shoulder such an impossible weight.

"A bit of everything and rumor has it he can glimpse across time itself. He might have seen you a few times. You'd have to ask him" Frigga took a sip of her own drink.

Alina was a bit uneasy. The thought of someone watching her, her pain, her sins, strangely akin to God, was thoroughly unnerving.

They sipped in silence for a while before both of them finished.

"Well Alina darling I think it's time we both went back to bed" Frigga said, yawning softly, covering her mouth.

The last thing Alina remembered was that she had never told Frigga her name.

* * *

Alina's eyes opened, staring at the ceiling. She had hardly had a chance to think when she realized she wasn't alone.

Sitting up, she saw Helen standing at the open wardrobe, hanging up dresses.

"Good morning" she said cheerily. Alina rubbed her eyes. "You'll want to hurry up"

"Hurry up?" Alina replied with confusion.

"Court's in an hour"

"I don't require an hour to ready myself for something I have no wish to attend. But then I suppose Loki told you to tell me that I have to go"

"Something along those lines and perhaps something about socializing being good for you"

Alina flopped back on the bed with a groan.


	7. While Waiting

**Good morning! I apologize for the time it's taking. My mind is still stuck in the world of Colder Than Ice as I go about fixing the chapters. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Happy October :)**

Alina still felt a bit strange. She'd never worn anything so fine or feminine in her life. Perhaps a cheap dress here and there, posing as a noblewoman to snag a target's attention but she got rid of it almost as soon as the job was done. But this was completely out of her element.

Two simple clasps were at the front of the dress to hold it closed, with another layer underneath, and long silk sleeves that nearly came down to the very tips of her fingers. It was the strangest armor Alina had ever worn and she often wore her clothes like so even when she wasn't wearing actual armor. And though the grey dress was comfortable, Alina was anything but.

Standing here, in a large room, slightly apart from the flock of noblewomen, Alina was unsure of what to do. She could see that awful woman from a few nights ago, in a dress of much richer design, colors of red and gold.

Alina couldn't help but shake the strangest feeling that everyone was staring at her. As she walked past a smattering of ladies to the window, she picked up on the conversation;

"A mortal can you imagine?"

"Does Odin approve?"

"Well Loki is no stranger to trouble"

"I heard she's a wildling"

"Aren't all Midgardians?"

Alina strongly fought the urge to ask from whom they had heard that. She forced herself to walk to the window out of hearing distance. No one was going to talk to her anyway. Alina was perfectly content to ignore and be ignored. Asgard meant nothing to her.

There wasn't much to see except a large fountain in a stone courtyard, the sunlight reflecting off its bubbling surfaces. It was the most pleasant sight Alina had seen in a long while. She'd much rather go sit with the company of water than other women.

"Good morning. Alina isn't it?"

Alina turned slightly to acknowledge the Lady Sif. While Sif hadn't been entirely unpleasant last night, Alina didn't immediately dislike her.

"Yes"

"I wanted to apologize for last night. I meant no offense"

"None was taken. You are far from the worst I've had to deal with so you needn't worry" Alina replied calmly. Sif smiled slightly in response.

"I'm sure you'll adapt quickly"

"To Asgard or Loki's brand of…humor?"

"Loki has always been skilled in magic…and tricks" Sif said.

"Sounds like someone needs to give him his own medicine" Alina sighed.

Sif chuckled.

"If you can find a way, I'd be more than willing to aid" she laughed. Alina laughed slightly as well. Was this what having a friend was like?

"Then I suggest you start searching the Nine Realms at once Lady Sif" Loki said as he walked forward. Alina swiftly returned her gaze to the fountain outside the window.

"Good morning. I trust you slept well"

Alina sighed in response. From the corner of her eye, she saw that Loki looked normal enough. His eyes were a normal color today and he wasn't emanating cold. In an attempt to keep him from doing anything like that again, Alina opened her mouth again;

"Your mother seems nice" she said quietly.

Loki looked slightly taken aback by this.

"Well yes" he frowned before a smile returned to his face "Ah Walking, I see"

Whatever 'Walking' was, Alina didn't particularly care to ask further. Monsters, magic, none of this was what she was trained for.

"I understand you have a busy day today"

Alina slowly turned to look at him. Loki looked far too pleased with himself.

"What?" she asked.

"Well as I understand it, you'll be spending a bit of time with the court women and their past times"

" _I-!_ " Alina started to snap that she would do no such thing when she swallowed back her protests.

It didn't mean she wasn't furious with Loki for suddenly condemning her to gossip and God knows what else. Alina could perform a variety of tasks, from sword work and hand to hand combat to cleaning blood off the floor. Anxiety bubbled up in her stomach as whatever noblewomen did in their spare time was completely foreign to her.

Yet she knew she didn't have a choice in the matter and Loki might drag her kicking and screaming anyway. It wouldn't improve her circumstances to create such a scene in public. They already thought she was mad in the head.

"You might want to try a smile instead of looking like you are contemplating your own funeral" Loki chuckled. Alina could only stand there in silent horror. Her horror turned to outright fury when Loki leaned forward to give her a brief kiss on the cheek.

"Do try not to scare them" he said before taking his leave.

Alina found she was shaking slightly and wiped her cheek with her sleeve, though it did nothing to remove the heated blush from her skin. She couldn't help but feel as though everyone was looking at her now and not solely because she was mortal.


	8. Rich Beyond Reason

**Cripes. Writer's block, new found lactose intolerance, and distraction, I deeply apologize. Happy October :)**

Alina stared into the depths of the cup of tea that had been placed before her, as if it held some deeper meaning. It seemed the most suitable option as she could either look at the other women at the table with her or act like she cared and watch the training grounds below the dais. Normally she wouldn't mind but as the purpose of watching these lads was because of their physicality and looks and whom might be deemed the most handsome, Alina sighed and instead focused on adding cream and sugar.

Alina didn't know how or when but someday Loki would pay for this. She bet Lady Sif was doing something more useful at the moment and wasn't subjected to this nonsense. Hell she'd gladly help her maid Helen with whatever work she did.

"He gave me a flower yesterday"

"I'm seeing him for tea next week"

"Will he ask you to the dance?"

"It's not for several weeks"

"Are you going to the dance Alina?"

The question was so unexpected that it took a moment for her to register that it was directed at Alina herself. She looked up from her tea.

Yara had a seemingly innocent look on her face but Alina knew better. It was the look that said she was as ready to stir up trouble as she was stirring her tea.

"Excuse me?" Alina replied calmly, taking a sip of her drink.

"Are you going to the dance?" Yara repeated. "Or hasn't Loki asked you yet?"

Alina half-choked, doing her best to quell her sputtering. Such a notion was ridiculous. Had these women nothing better to do than gossip?

"I'm sure his highness has much more important things on his mind" she managed, opting for politeness instead of insults.

"Yet yesterday and this morning, he seemed quite taken with you?"

"Yesterday?" Alina couldn't help the sharpness of her tone, nor the blush in her cheek at the memory of Loki's lips on her skin.

"You were walking with him. Selene saw you herself. Didn't you?" Yara turned to the girl on her right who nodded with a somewhat guilty look on her face.

"I've only been here a few days. It's only natural he wouldn't want me wandering off somewhere I don't belong"

"Your dress was green" Yara pointed out. At this, Alina practically slammed her cup back onto its saucer. Yara pouted slightly, not appearing sorry in the least.

Alina was going to have to have a serious conversation with Loki about spending time with these women…or rather not spending time with them.

Yet Yara's attention was conveniently diverted by something on the training grounds.

"Oh bother" she said. In fact everyone was looking in the same direction with the same strange look of pity. Alina, glad to be left alone, looked as well.

Someone new had entered the training grounds. A small nine year old girl, rather pale skinned, her blond hair tied behind her, and wearing a blue dress that already had dirt around the hem. She was just within earshot…and so were a couple of fourteen year old boys.

"Yes I can!" she said adamantly, voice cracking slightly.

"Go back to your sewing needles!" one of them scoffed. Alina could already tell the girl was beginning to cry.

 _"But-!"_

"Do you even know how to hold a bow and arrow?" another jeered.

 _"No but-!"_

"Shooting is not for babies, especially girls"

"I'm not!" the girl protested, her eyes red rimmed and starting to water.

"Where's her mother?" Alina found herself saying quietly, distracted from her own plight.

"Good question" Yara replied, her voice filled with nothing but pity and disdain.

Before Alina could even stop to think, she pushed her chair away from the table, just as one of the boys pushed the girl so she fell flat on her bottom.

Ignoring the looks she was getting and the surprising tightness of her throat, Alina walked to the edge of the dais, making the small jump down.

"Stance? Sloppy" she said, voice hard as she hooked her ankle around one of the boys' leg, hand on his shoulder, sending him down in the dirt before he had a chance to even blink.

"Aim?" Alina snapped at one of them holding a bow and glancing at the target. From her sleeve she slid a butter knife and threw it, not even having to look as it hit the dead center. She yanked the bow from his hand quite easily. "Pathetic" she gave him a shove.

"Attitude?" she turned to the remaining boy who had shoved the girl. A smile that was not at all kind came across her face as she gripped the bow and whacked him across the face. "Unacceptable" she said, her voice hard as flint as the boy clutched his face.

"A girl? Better that than the likes of you" she hissed, fixing the three of them with such a stare that they practically tripped over each other to run away. Alina took a big sigh and tried to put on a softer expression as she turned to the girl who was still sitting, looking rather dumbfounded and just a bit frightened.

Alina bent down, wordlessly offering her hand to help the girl to her feet.

A little shakily, she accepted and flinched slightly as Alina helped pat some of the dirt off her dress.

"What's your name?" Alina said, using a softer tone as she wiped the girl's eyes with her sleeve.

"Holly" she sniffed.

"Ever shot before?" she asked.

Holly shook her head.

"Well it's probably a bit harder than needlework. But a lot more satisfying and useful"

"I want to be like Lady Sif" Holly said meekly. "And you" she added, eyes wide. Alina schooled her features into a smile.

"Well better Lady Sif than me" Alina nodded, holding the girl's hand in one and the bow in the other as they approached the shooting targets.

"Will Loki get mad about your dress?" Holly asked.

Alina frowned, looking down. There was a bit of dirt near the bottom. She shrugged.

"Well he'll have to get over it" she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she handed the bow to Holly.

Holly took an arrow from the quiver.

"Is he in love with you?"

"After five days of knowing him, I should hope he has more sense than that. Also I pushed him into a pool so no. Thank goodness"

"You pushed the prince?" Holly's jaw went slack.

"Someone had to" Alina replied before directing Holly into a good stance.

"Was he mad?" Holly asked; face tight with concentration as she closed one eye.

"Both eyes open hon. And he was furious" she added.

"Mother says that's how she loved father" Holly said, before letting the arrow go, sinking into the edge of the target before taking another one. "They started off hating each other and now they're married"

"Well I'll bet your mother is a noblewoman and probably knew your father for more than five days" Alina went forward to take the arrow and butter knife she had lodged in the target free.

"You're a Lady now though aren't you?"

"I should hope not" Alina did nothing to hide the disgust in her voice. If being a Lady meant spending more time with people like Yara, well then she wanted nothing to do with it.

Holly giggled in response.

* * *

"Honestly she looked like I was sending her to burn at the stake" Loki said. He wasn't one to sulk but when he did, Thor recognized it all too well.

As well as the fact that this was the fifth time and had been going on for twenty minutes as Thor was polishing his already spotless hammer and Loki was sharpening his daggers.

"You'd think she'd be a bit relieved to spend a more relaxed day as compared to slitting throats"

"Maybe she likes slitting throats" Thor replied.

"Well if you find me bleeding in my room, you'll know who to blame" Loki grumbled.

"I wouldn't blame her. You did try to drown her"

"She started it" Loki stabbed one dagger into the floor.

"Give it time Loki. Mother says distrust is a common Midgardian trait"

"Give what time?" Loki snapped, his tone colored with confusion. Thor held his tongue, a smug look on his face mirrored Loki's sour one.

"What in the seven hells are you implying?" Loki growled.

"I'm not implying anything" Thor said smugly. Loki's eyes narrowed in response. "I'm simply pointing out that this is the most I've ever heard you talk about a woman"

" _So_?" Loki accidentally nipped his finger with his own blade, pausing to eke out a choice swear word or two, sticking his finger in his mouth to stop the bleeding.

Thor shrugged, humming tunelessly in reply. Only it wasn't so tuneless that Loki didn't recognize the tune of an Asgardian wedding march. Thor was one of the few who dared to rile Loki.

"Ah mother and father will rejoice! The prospect of grandchildren at last"

 _"YOU BRAINLESS OAF_ "

Thor couldn't help but simply laugh loudly in response as Loki stomped away.


	9. East of Eden

_Alina's heavy lids managed to crack open yet they were feather light compared to her back. Standing up was impossible and even the slightest shift caused a new wave of pain. Her bandages had to be changed at least every six hours and dabbed with salt water to prevent infection._

 _Then she remembered why she had woken up. She was not alone, unable to help flinching as she took notice of Bane sitting on the edge of her cot._

 _"Good morning" he said, his face stoic, showing no trace of pity for what he had done to her. Alina could only blink silently. She was vulnerable and they both knew it. He was the last person she wanted to see._

 _"…"_

 _"Cat got your tongue?" Bane smirked, pressing his thumb to her bottom lip as if to gently pry open her mouth. Alina, consequence aside, snapped her teeth at him, Bane jerked his hand away in response, chuckling as if this were some sort of game._

 _"Well you've got nothing but time to think on your actions"_

 _A low growl came from Alina's throat in response._

 _"I should think you'd be a bit more respectful, dear heart" The cot creaked slightly as Bane shifted, sliding a hand down her leg. "You always pick the hard way"_

 _"Mmff" was all Alina could manage by way of a protest as she felt his fingers dip below her shorts between her legs, skimming thankfully not inserting._

 _"Tight little thing aren't you?"_

 _Alina let out a strangled cry, twisting, ignoring the pain, lunging for his face. A wave of nausea sent her head spinning as Bane clamped his hand over her mouth, shoving her back down. Alina's back arched sharply, tears filling her eyes, fingers digging into Bane's skin so hard she drew blood but he didn't let go. Her back felt like it was aflame._

 _"We'll talk when you're a bit more civilized" he said, lips in her ear causing her to cringe further._

 _Once he was finally gone, Alina grabbed her pillow and buried her face in it, sinking her teeth in before screaming in a pained rage._

* * *

Loki's eyes opened to find Thor standing over him. He immediately sat up, unnerved.

"You're ill" Thor said, face alight with worry.

"What?" Loki replied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, head fogged with confusion.

"I've spent the past ten minutes trying to wake you!"

"And what pray tell requires my attention?" Loki's mind immediately thought of Alina. Oh God had she killed someone?

"Well nothing now that you're ill. Father called for aid but I will go with Volstagg in your stead"

"I'm perfectly fine!" Loki protested but Thor shook his head. He mentally fumbled for the dream he had been having, only to remember that Alina had been in it. Damn this woman.

Loki hated being left out.

"Not to worry, I will let you tell him of your endeavoring!"

"My what?" Loki grumbled.

"With your maiden friend!" Thor grinned.

"I told you a thousand times I have no desire to-to...whatever it is you're accusing me of! She'd sooner murder me in my sleep!"

"Try Cloaking! Get to know her if you're too shy!"

"I AM NOT SHY!" Loki threw his pillow at Thor as he strode to the doorway.

"Try not to deafen Heimdall" Thor replied, a smug look still on his face.

Cloaking was the means by which Loki made himself invisible to others. Yet as he went off in search of some breakfast, he did wonder what he might observe of Alina if she were unaware of his presence. Yet he had the feeling she wasn't much different around others.

* * *

Alina yawned, covering her mouth as she sat slightly away from the other women. An embroidery hoop and needle sat in her lap. She was supposed to be participating in what appeared to be knitting or a sewing circle.

Yet she found herself staring at the two objects in her hand as an infant tries to learn the alphabet. Unbeknownst to her, Loki snickered at the rather helpless look on her face…that was easy for him as he was already in the midst of an elaborate pattern.

How the hell was this supposed to help her be more 'civilized'?

Loki suddenly felt a sharp pang of fear twisted with sadness…utter confusion coupled with helplessness. He quickly shook it off, frowning in dismay.

Apart from jabbing the needle in someone's eye or sewing a wound closed, Alina could only manage a few crooked stitches.

Loki groaned, despite the fact that no one would hear him unless he wished it.

"Despite being the most boring pastime in all of Asgard, it's far from the worst" he chuckled. Sure he had managed a complicated flower but Loki wasn't about to willingly spend hours on the activity. He was just grateful that Heimdall, the all-seeing all hearing Sentry of Asgard couldn't bear witness.

Alina swore just a smidge too loudly as she pricked her finger for the 5th time.

"What's the matter Alina?" Yara said, her voice practically dripping with sarcasm.

Alina quickly stuck her finger in her mouth. Yara made a face.

"You don't have a handkerchief?"

"You don't have a muzzle?" Alina snapped suddenly.

"Ooh" Loki looked between the two women. "Tension in the ranks"

"Muzzles are in the kennel. Is that where Loki keeps you?"

"Hardly"

"His bed then?" Yara smirked. Alina resisted the urge to wring her neck.

"Why don't you ask him? Perhaps he'll share" Alina fixed Yara with a look that could probably scare several small children. "I don't bite…much"

"Oh dear" Loki was enjoying this far too much.

"Freak" Yara hissed. Alina held the woman's gaze for a minute more before slowly nodding her head.

Loki suddenly felt as if he could scream yet he couldn't place the reason. Perhaps he should really forgo the second helpings of dessert before going to bed. Stress eating that must be it. Damn Alina.

"Alright now it's just a few simple stitches. See? Like this!" Loki did it as if Alina could see his example. Of course she didn't. "Well as this is useless-"

More out of frustration than anything else, Loki chucked the hoop away from him…where it hit Yara, bouncing off her forehead.

"Ow!" Alina's head snapped up again. Yara's lip was stuck out in a childish pout, rubbing her head. "How did you get two?!" she demanded. Alina slowly looked from Yara to the empty space next to her, or at least empty to her view.

"I…I didn't…" Anxiety and confusion as well as anger flooded Loki's mind.

"No one else is next to you!" Yara snapped "With good reason I expect!"

"Calm down, you don't know the first thing about pain. Unless you'd like me to give you a lesson or two?"

Alina rose swiftly to her feet as if she intended to do exactly that. Without thinking, Loki suddenly grabbed her hand, a sudden shock of fear flooding him.

Alina felt as if her entire body had plunged into ice water, her eyes wide, fighting to keep her breathing and look like nothing was wrong.

"My apologies" she said quickly, tugging her hand from whatever ghostly specter held it before making a swift exit. Fear, confusion, anger, and sadness all spun through Loki's mind, a desire to for solitude, the thought that he must be going mad.

Then he understood. Of course he wasn't feeling any of those things for they were not his emotions. They were Alina's.


	10. Lavender's Blue

**I was watching the 2015 adaptation of Cinderella and near the ending when the guards hear her singing from the window inspired this. Enjoy and please review if you'd be so kind :)**

Loki paced rapidly, ignoring the tea on the table. Frigga was calm as ever as she sipped hers.

"I don't understand" he grimaced "This makes not even a hint of sense. She's mortal"

Frigga, queen mother, the only mother he'd ever known, simply smiled.

'Well it is unusual. A Bond is not usually so instantaneous but well-"she shrugged, as if Loki having a Bond with a mortal was as commonplace as anything.

"What the hell does it mean?"

To be honest, it scared Loki more than anything else. Other than that, he wasn't sure what to feel.

Frigga merely shrugged. "It appears to be one-way" she remarked.

"Good. The last thing I need is an assassin in my head" Loki snapped.

"Well she hasn't killed anyone since you brought her here" Frigga replied.

"Yet"

Loki ran his fingers through his hair. Bonds were quite rare. A natural one was nigh impossible to break where as one induced by a spell or some such craft would fade over time without a Renewal.

Loki couldn't fathom why anyone would want such a thing. It was distracting really.

"Is to feel as she does really an inconvenience?" Frigga asked softly. "You might learn something"

"She loathes the very core of me; I hardly think she wants a mutual understanding"

"Have you not tried?"

"More or less" Loki fumed, crossing his arms.

"Try again" Frigga said simply.

* * *

Alina was slowly attempting to eat lunch without overdoing it, when Helen handed her a slip of paper.

"It was left outside your door" she explained. It was folded, with a black A.

Alina stared at it for several minutes. The A was fine….but the only thing she could discern upon unfolding the paper was a single word. This was all Alina could tell…because Alina couldn't read.

"Um…Helen?" Alina found her fingers shaking, face turning red.

"Yes?" Helen replied, in the process of straightening Alina's closet. Alina swallowed hard before holding up the paper;

"W-What does this say?"

Helen's gaze met Alina's. For a brief second Alina worried that Helen would laugh at her or do something…yet her gaze was mercifully kind.

"It says 'Remember'" she replied. Her gentle expression turned to concern "My lady? Are you alright?"

"I'm….I…." Alina felt the room begin to tilt slightly.

"You're suddenly pale" Helen lifted her hand to Alina's forehead.

"I-I'm normally pale" she breathed.

"Should I get-"

"No!" Alina said quickly, too quickly, shaking her head. "No it's fine"

Helen looked quite apprehensive but as a servant, it was not her place to question. Clutching the now crumpled scrap of paper, Alina threw it where the flames of the fireplace quickly devoured it.

* * *

That same night, Loki was finding it very hard to sleep. He was restless, that was the only word that seemed to describe it. Tossing, turning, and fuming were all he managed.

It was well past midnight when he started to hear it. Faint and indiscernible at first, yet as he took notice and stopped moving, the words became clearer. Someone was singing, a woman, and her voice strangely familiar. He detected the scent of apples, cinnamon and nutmeg despite none of those things being present in his chamber.

As he sleepily shuffled out of bed, the song sounded almost like a lullaby.

 _Lavender's blue, dilly dilly_

 _Lavender's green_

 _If you love me, dilly dilly_

 _I will love you_

Then Loki recognized the voice. Alina…Alina was _singing_? Softly of course, she wouldn't want to disturb anyone or have anyone hear her. It wasn't something someone like her did often. Yet what on earth was she doing up at this hour?

He detected undercurrents of stress that she was desperately trying to soothe. He couldn't quite pick up on the reason for the stress. But given the strange scents, she should be…in the kitchens. Indeed as he neared the location that wasn't far from her room, the quality of the singing was of a more present feel, less distant than when he had been in his bed.

How oddly domestic of her.

* * *

It was as Alina was setting her small apple pie into the oven that she realized, that though baking had brought a modicum of peace, she did not forget. She'd never forgotten.

REMEMBER stood out against the skin of her arm in thin small red lines that she made with a sewing needle the moment Helen had left her alone.

She sighed, the humming dying from her lips.

"You ask the impossible" she murmured.

Loki frowned. He wasn't using Cloaking yet he was very light of step. Yet as she turned in his direction, it was clear she thought he was someone else.

Her face turned red.

"What are you doing here?" Alina breathed.

"I live here" Loki replied. "I heard a little bird singing just now and couldn't sleep"

"Perhaps you left a window open" Alina swallowed hard, unable to quell her blushing. Her fingers shakily went behind her back as she pulled the sleeve of her blue nightdress back down from her elbow.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked.

"Only a few minutes" Loki lied. He had counted about eight, leaning in the doorway.

"I don't believe you" Tucking a strand of hair back, Alina crossed her arms, glaring at him.

"Smart girl" he replied with a smirk. She was hiding something. What use was this damn Bond? She knew he'd heard her singing; Alina wasn't the type to be embarrassed about being seen in her nightdress, so it could be anything really. She'd thought he was someone else before she turned. Someone she knew.

"It's well past midnight, what brings his highness to the humbleness of the kitchen?" Alina sighed, turning to clean up.

"Perhaps I was a bit peckish" Loki said, taking a step further inside, seating himself on a nearby stool. "Your turn"

"I couldn't sleep" she replied curtly.

"Tea helps"

"I don't need tea" Alina focused on wiping down the counter.

"Everyone needs tea" Loki frowned.

"I've managed"

"With that many scars, I wouldn't call that managing"

Alina's green eyes flashed to his, a spark of anger evident. Loki looked calmly back.

"Well they must've given you something to null the pain"

"They tried alcohol, I spat it out"

 _"What you don't like a drink?"_ A strange man's voice flitted through Loki's head as Alina flinched. She swiftly turned away again to check on the pie.

"So you like baking?" Loki asked.

"I don't know. I haven't done it in years"

"When was the last time?"

"I was six. I practically lived in a bakery until it burned down" Alina wished she could take back the words as soon as she said them. "I went from breaking bread to breaking bones"

Taking the wooden spatula, she took the now golden-crusted pie out of the oven, setting it on the table.

Loki visibly flinched as she reached for a knife.

"Relax" she sighed "It's too early for that sort of thing"

Puncturing the warm near-perfect crust, the aroma was enough to make Loki's mouth water. She set a slice on to a plate and pushed it in his direction, not looking at Loki, as if still embarrassed.

"You could've poisoned it" he pointed out.

"And where would I have gotten the poison pray tell?" Alina asked. "I nearly got lost finding the apples" she added.

"I might haunt you if I die" Loki said, his tone amused.

"That's a big if and there are worse ways to die….Trust me" Alina handed him a fork, gaze fixed on his. "Think of it as a peace offering for pushing you earlier"

Loki slowly took the fork, scooping up a good bit before slowly pushing it into his mouth. The crust was a perfect crunch, the apples practically melted in his mouth, filling it with a sweet finesse of any trained baker. He paused, momentarily dazed before finally swallowing.

"Have you tried this?"

Alina shook her head.

"I should probably go" she yawned.

"No now it's your turn" Loki scooped up another forkful and holding it to her face.

She looked as if it took all of her will to pry her mouth open and accept the offering but he felt a flood of sweet release, warmth, long suppressed enjoyment as Alina's green eyes widened. He felt the disbelief that someone like her could make something that tasted so good, even after all these years.

Her eyes were watering and for once it wasn't out of pain or fear.

"I…I should go back to bed" she whispered. _Goddammit don't cry in front of him, it's just a damn pie_. She couldn't think straight.

"I can't possibly eat this by myself" Loki smiled, though it was enough for one.

"You should" Alina breathed. She didn't trust herself. This wasn't good; she was supposed to be hard not soft. Bane would kill her. Yet he wasn't here…or so it seemed.

"Good night Loki" she said before swiftly stepping around him, gone before he could even attempt to convince her to stay.

As he sat there, savoring every bite, Loki couldn't help but think that perhaps Frigga was right.


	11. In Jest or Earnest

**Hmmm. I think my wretched writer's block is returning. *Sigh* Tis a sickness.**

It was raining today so Alina and the other noblewomen stayed indoors. Alina rather enjoyed the rain but as usual was powerless.

Drinking more tea and playing cards was apparently the preferred activity in case of inclement weather. Alina merely stirred her tea, feigning interest. Other assassins in her guild played some form of cards but she never bothered to take part…mostly because the game ended with a black eye or a dislocated limb.

After a bit, she excused herself to take her tea and sit near the window on the other side of the room.

"A wise choice" said Loki, his voice and presence Cloaked so he was neither seen nor heard. "Yet you could at least attempt to be sociable"

Of course, his advice went unheard. Alina leaned her head against the window, staring at the rain. It was only as she moved to scratch her neck that Loki saw the cuts on her skin, cuts in the form of a single word.

It took everything he had not to grab her, smash a plate, bang on the window, to do something to make his presence known.

"I know you can't hear me…but we need to talk about that" He said, his voice shook with anger and if Loki was honest with himself, worry. "You have very nice skin and this is a waste. It's also unhealthy and makes things worse" Again she remained deaf to his argument. "How does this-"Loki took out one of his own daggers and swiftly drew the blade over his own finger. " _How in the seven hells does this alleviate your pain? If anything, it only causes more!"_

Alina closed her eyes in an unknowing response. Loki closed his as well in order to calm himself. She couldn't hear him. It was useless.

"Just this once, I will leave this matter in your incapable mortal hands. If I see any more of this…I'll have Helen or God forbid, myself examine you"

Her eyes opened again, more of their own accord than out of response to his words. Lifting her head from the window, Alina looked for her cup of tea that sat between her and her invisible partner. Her fingers had just curled around the handle when she noticed the spot of blood on the rim.

"Ow dammit" Loki stuck his finger in his mouth, waiting for his accelerated healing to kick in. Alina's expression turned to one of alarm, her senses flaring. As she closed her eyes again and shook her head, Loki quickly reached out and wiped it away, the bloodspot gone when Alina looked again.

More thoughts that she might be going mad raced through her head. It was blood, it was, a stark contrast to the pale cream of the tea and white china of the cup. It couldn't have come from her…unless Alina was becoming sick…or the tea was poisoned.

REMEMBER.

Fear coupled with anxiety gnawed at her insides. Loki saw a flash of words written on paper, the same word that was etched into her arm. Gathering a bit of fabric in her slightly shaking hand, Alina quickly got up, not bothering to properly excuse herself as she exited the room.

Standing in the hallway, not knowing where else to go without getting lost, Alina ran her shaking hands through her hair, lower lip trembling like she wanted nothing more than to have a good cry. She took several moments, just breathing slowly in and out, gathering the will to go back into the room though she'd much rather be alone.

Yet as Alina turned, she nearly ran straight into the now visible Loki, stopping within just an inch of collision. Before either of them could say anything, Loki surprised her (and himself) by pulling her into an embrace, a firm yet oddly gentle hug.

Alina was rigid in Loki's arms, one hand going slowly up and down her back in what was supposed to be a soothing gesture. Yet though the gesture had been forced, Alina couldn't recall the last time she'd hugged someone. Her head was a mix _of Get away from me, what the hell are you doing, why are you here_ , and a tad bit _of I appreciate this but please let me go._

Unsure of whether or not to push him away, Alina's fingers rested lightly on his back, pausing to take in his scent. He had an almost earthy smell, like a forest after it's rained, with a strike of pine.

"…Loki?" Alina finally said when she found her voice and he was still hugging her, just out of the blue.

He swiftly pulled away in response, hands on her shoulders, eyes to hers.

"My apologies" he muttered.

"It's…fine…I guess" she replied.

"You should…" Loki gestured in the direction of the room. "Tea" he added, as if to further articulate his meaning…whatever that was.

Alina seemed distinctly unruffled instead of feeling better but the awkwardness between them, as well as the unspoken questions and lack of answers was enough for him to take his leave.

"Is something the matter?" Helen asked when Alina returned to the room. Alina shook her head, unable to hide the blush on her face. It was nothing really….nothing at all.


	12. Something Disposable

**I hope you all enjoy. Happy Thanksgiving in case I don't post anything next week :)**

As the words on her arm dictated, Alina spent her nights mapping out the palace. There were no guards posted at her door (as there probably should have been). It was trying, to be sure, as the place was truly enormous. There was only one room of import and it was the hardest to find. Loki was not someone she could simply follow to find out where he slept. He'd catch her in a heartbeat.

Yet as Alina walked down another hallway of what appeared to be spare rooms, she suddenly felt that her shadow was not her only follower.

* * *

A flash of alarm was what stirred Loki from his sleep, not for the first time. He strongly considered lacing Alina's hot chocolate with a sedative if this was to keep up.

"Well aren't you pathetic?" snapped an oddly familiar voice, despite that Loki was alone. A fear that Loki had yet to see Alina exhibit flared inside him…or rather her. She was afraid of this man who had his hand over her mouth and arm around her waist as he pulled them both into a spare room. She was with someone else.

* * *

Alina sank her teeth into Bane's hand.

"Fuck!" he snapped, releasing her. Alina gave him a push, anger masking her fear, eyes blazing as she beheld his cloaked form. Bane yanked the hood of his cloak back, nursing his hand.

"I got your note" Alina crossed her arms. "You know I can't read"

"I've seen you kill, you should be home by now. You're not getting comfortable are you?"

"Yes because killing a target like this is a goddamn walk in the park!"

"Is it difficult because he's not human or you're getting soft?" Bane took a step towards her. Alina forced herself to stay still, trying to ignore the fact that there was a mattress in the room.

"I shouldn't need to state the obvious"

"Neither should I"

Alina was slammed so hard into the wall; she was momentarily dazed into silence. Bane's words were practically growled into her ear;

"Do I need to remind you what happens when you don't follow orders?" he asked, slamming a palm roughly against her back, no doubt against the scars he himself had inflicted.

"I am limited, they took my weapons-"

"And your clothes too it would seem"

"Planning on letting go of me anytime soon before we're both found?" Alina snarled. Then she noticed her sleeve was down, just enough for Bane to see, even in the dark. Another dizzying spin, her back against the wall, Alina didn't have a chance to pull her arm away.

"Feeling sorry for yourself again?" Bane asked, his tone holding just a tint of mockery.

"You care so much about my performance? Then furnish me with a fucking weapon instead of stupid notes!" she snapped. He wouldn't do anything here. Not even Bane would dare. Which is why Alina slammed his leather clad chest and strode furiously from the room, whipping the door open, not caring about the loud bang that followed.

* * *

Loki had barely Cloaked himself as he watched Alina walk rapidly down the hallway before disappearing behind the corner. Anger and stress practically radiated from her. Part of Loki almost wished she would head to the kitchen again, for that seemed to help her anxiety levels. Yet she returned to her room.

Loki stood in the hallway, following Alina only in a mental sense. He slowly stepped toward the room she had left in such a vicious temperament. Yet as he stepped into the moonlit-striped room, Loki found he was the room's sole inhabitant. It was empty except for a mattress and perhaps a wardrobe, which was empty upon inspection. Yet then Loki noticed that the window latch was unlocked, the glass pane slightly ajar.

Someone in this place was her next target...the probability that it was himself was high. He should go straight to Odin or consult Heimdall who had probably, no doubt, heard the entirety of the conversation. And yet…Alina had seemed almost reluctant to carry out this task and not just due to a lack of means or knowledge. He had felt that…but the reasoning behind her reluctance was unclear.

He could tell Frigga…or perhaps she might tell Odin. Odin….Loki didn't want Odin to handle this. Perhaps Loki might try talking to her…Alina was already under a magnifying glass due to the simple state of her mortality.

Also Loki would be damned if he was asked to explain how he knew all of this…He would rather chew broken glass than tell Odin, Thor, or anyone of this stupid inexplicable Bond that tied him to Alina. It wasn't as if he could handle her if or when she would try to kill him.

Vowing to sleep on it as Alina was attempting to do at this moment, Loki left his door open just a crack. Just in case.


	13. Did That Hurt?

**Happy December 1st! Leave a review if you'd be so kind :) Love and lattes towards all of you 3**

In Alina's exploration, she had discovered what appeared to be an abandoned pier, leading out onto the water. It was actually quite calming, to sit there and look out at the smooth surface, the water quietly lapping in a gentle rhythm. It must have been abandoned as she had been sitting in relative solitude for three undisturbed hours. It was at times like this that Alina wished she could read, so as to have brought something to do. Yet for now, the solitude was rewarding enough…Much more appreciated than the thousandth comment she'd received today.

All because her dress was green. Apparently it was Loki's favorite color. To be fair, Alina had noticed Loki did wear a lot of it in varying shades. Yet her eyes were green too. Did that make her his sister? Alina shuddered at the thought.

* * *

"So what was it this time?"

Alina froze as she turned a corner. Loki was leaning against the carved wall, waiting for his answer, an apple in his hand.

"Perhaps I just needed some time alone" she replied calmly. It wasn't technically a lie.

"Is socializing really so strenuous?"

"It is when everyone thinks I'm-"Alina stopped, her cheeks flushing slightly.

"You don't seem the type who cares what people think of you"

"I…don't"

"But?"

Alina didn't reply.

"What rumor is so horrid that it bothers you?" Loki said with a smile, as if he knew exactly the answer…which he probably did and just wanted to hear it out of Alina's mouth for kicks. "Am I really such a stain on your good name?"

"I never said I was good"

"Yet those scars on your back weren't for nothing"

"No they weren't" Alina sighed before continuing on her way. To her ire, Loki matched her stride, walking alongside her.

"You never did tell me how you earned such treatment"

"Because it's none of your business" Alina replied, eyes fixed ahead of her.

"It must have been quite the deed"

"It's what I didn't do"

"So you fell for an intended target"

"Don't be ridiculous"

"Fine I'll ask Heimdall. I'm sure he knows"

That was enough to halt Alina's footsteps. Heimdall…Heimdall, the bewildering sentry who supposedly and impossibly saw everything…everything. Yet she was still standing here…unless he'd already alerted the necessary figures and Loki was planning some sort of trap. Perhaps if she gave Loki this one answer…Alina might maintain her safety for a little while longer.

"He was only eight…" she said.

Loki tilted his head in response.

"The intended…Just a child…"

"And they didn't assign someone else?"

"They did…I…stopped them"

"You mean you killed them" Loki crossed his arms.

"At first they thought I had turned rogue…The interrogating lasted a month…Then they decided I was just stupid instead of a traitor…My skill was too much of a waste they said…"

"So you refuse to kill a child…" Alina displayed a look of horror at Loki's following laugh.

"You think it's _funny?"_

"You just said you never claimed to be good a moment ago" Loki smiled. "It's a compliment"

"It doesn't mean I haven't done other things" Alina snapped.

"An assassin, a virgin, defender of children, you're just a barrel of everything aren't you?"

"A _v-_!" Alina spluttered…yet it was true…and another reason for the whippings.

"You should stop smearing mud on yourself before you worry about others flinging it"

" _Well maybe they wouldn't fling it if they didn't think I'm your whore!_ " Alina finally snapped. She had to get out of this dress. Spinning around on her heel, she strode furiously away from Loki who was laughing like she'd told the world's greatest joke.

* * *

Yet as Alina practically ripped off her dress back in her room and yanked open the closet door, her eyes disbelievingly beheld the most disturbing spectacle. She firmly remembered a selection of greys, blacks, and blues…only to see now that every single dress was impossibly, horrifically, and irreversibly green.

Standing there in her underdress, Alina could only stare in horror. Slowly pulling one off the hanger, she scratched at it as if the color might come off under her nails, one after the other until they were in a heap all around her.

Grabbing one and shoving herself in the closet, balling it up, Alina stuffed a wad of dark green fabric into her mouth and screamed.


	14. Is It Her?

**I do hate writer's block. Hopefully its a short bout this time. Happy holidays :)**

Alina hadn't moved…or dressed…or eaten. She lay on the bed despite the pain in her stomach, refusing even the gentlest of prodding from Helen. Alina didn't know what she expected to gain from this protest…Freedom wasn't an option, Loki's attention was far from desired, and yet Alina would be damned if she let Loki think that she would become a toy, a puppet whose strings he could pull on a whim.

She was well aware that Loki might get angry with her…well that would make two of them. The only person she felt bad about her behavior towards was Helen. Then Helen used the last option of her arsenal;

"You don't want him to see you in naught but your skin do you?"

Alina frowned, looking down at herself. It was just a night gown, one that was substantial enough not to be see-through. Alina threw back the covers, yanking a light blue robe and shrugging it on before huffily getting back into bed, glaring at Helen as if to say 'Is this better?'

Helen sighed, throwing her hands up in the air and leaving. Alina ignored the pangs of guilt and hunger wracking her body. This was childish of her. Part of her wanted to run after Helen and beg forgiveness. Yet the larger part of her just pulled the blankets up to her chest and lay there, quietly sulking and closing her eyes.

But when Alina opened her eyes ten minutes later, she was horrified to find herself nose to nose with Loki. She jerked for a moment before Loki pinned her wrists on either side of her head, angling his body over hers. Helen was nowhere to be seen.

"Get off me" Alina said through gritted teeth.

"You wouldn't get up for anything less" Loki replied looking far too pleased with this arrangement. "Besides the color in your cheeks looks lovely, you really ought to consider going outside"

Alina flicked her eyes downward. Loki had a small array of daggers at his belt. Although she didn't want to look at any part of him at all, Alina sighed and returned her gaze to his hopefully before he could notice. Slim and silver by the look of them…or at least a very fine steel.

"Now are you going to tell me what brought on this petulant behavior?"

Alina made her tone softer, almost sick with the thought of what she was going to do next.

"I'm bored" she replied.

"You're bored?"

"Very"

"I don't think throwing a fit will help"

"What are you going to do? Punish me?" Alina's eyes narrowed, lower lip in a pout, almost daring him.

"I can think of a few things" Loki slowly released one of her wrists, his hand gripping the blankets and ripping them back. Alina fought every impulse not to move or smack him with her newly freed hand. Instead she lifted her head slightly off the bed, about an inch between her face and his.

"Go ahead" she said, eternally grateful that she didn't choke or squeak. Flirting was a skill she rarely used and absolutely loathed when she had to on an assignment.

His fingers traced her neck down to her collarbone. He could practically feel her thrumming heartbeat underneath his fingertips as well as the overall tremor of her body.

She was warm in contrast to his cool skin. He knew something was up, just nothing specific. She couldn't kill him…she was harmless. He could see the darker flecks of green in her eyes for just a second before his mouth met hers and his eyes closed.

His mouth was velvet soft on hers and not entirely unpleasant. He wasn't drunk and wasn't trying to shove his tongue down her throat. Alina shook, her free hand coming up to grab his leather-clad shoulder, reluctantly pulling him closer, her body now lightly pressed up against his. It took everything Alina had not to squirm. It was far from the worst experience she'd had.

She moved so she was sitting up and it would be easier to slide the dagger up the sleeve of her robe. Her hips were pressed to Loki's…now it was uncomfortable. Her head spun. It was too warm, too soft, too dizzy, too…tempting.

 _Tempting!?_

Alina was absolutely disgusted with herself. So much so that she practically yanked a dagger from his belt.

"Why you little minx…" Loki murmured, grabbing Alina's wrist, watching as her eyes widened in fury, her face now even more red than before. He pressed down until Alina's hand opened so she was forced to drop the pilfered weaponry. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were enjoying yourself"

Alina's face burned with shame and she shut her eyes. He was never going to let her live this down.

"Are you bored now?" he asked, his voice deceptively soft as ever. Alina flinched as he stroked her flaming cheek with the back of his hand. "Do you generally end up having to seduce all your targets?"

"You're not a target" Alina mumbled, wondering if he could sense the lie. "Also I kill them before they can so much as get a hand up my dress"

"Well I'm a lucky man then" Loki flashed a Cheshire grin.

"Go away" Alina hissed, giving him a push and stumbling out of bed. She now just noticed that her robe was open and with a huff tied it closed again before crossing her arms, keeping her back to Loki. She furiously wiped at her mouth with the sleeve of her robe.

It was actually almost a surprise as she turned to see that Loki was no longer there.


	15. What Are You Asking Me?

**I'm surprisingly pleased with this chapter. Happy Holidays. Keep warm and stay safe. Please try not to commit any Yuletide Homicide however tempting it might be. Krampus isn't very forgiving at this time of year. Reviews are much appreciated :)**

To sit among these women may have been a trial in and of itself but to chance upon another moment alone with Loki was a fate worse than death. Upon her nightly excursions she had stolen a book from the library in an attempt to teach herself reading. She had nothing but time apparently until she was able to find out where Loki slept. It wasn't something she could just blatantly ask and Alina sure as hell was not going to try flirting again.

So Alina sat.

Yet as the idle gossip threatened to drive her up the wall, Alina's mind couldn't help but wander…and wander it did into the most unlikely of places. Her mind recalled the phantom of Loki's mouth gently moving over hers…warm, firm, almost sinfully soft. She was slightly dizzy from the mere thought of it.

No…. _No…No… **NO**_ **.**

Shaking her head, Alina slammed her cup back in her saucer and onto the small table in front of her, crossing her arms as if to ward off the unwelcome thoughts, her face slightly flushed again.

"Is something wrong with the tea milady?"

Alina's head snapped to the side, momentarily jolted by the fact that someone was actually speaking to her. Then the voice registered in her head a second later, clear as a bell.

Hands folded, expression schooled in faux earnestness, and dressed in servant's garb, was Bane.

"I…I…"

Bane tilted his head; his blue eyes alight with mockery. He was here…impossibly so and she couldn't do a damn thing without causing a scene and more trouble for herself.

"No…Just…nerves…you may go" she said quickly, smoothing her hair back. When she still registered his presence, Alina looked at him again. "I said you can go sir"

"His highness requires your presence" Bane replied, not missing a beat.

Instinctively, Alina knew this to be false. It was time for yet another little chat.

* * *

Loki was in a surprisingly good mood when he and Thor were notified of Odin's arrival home from another campaign. Usually it was a mixture of anxiety, resentment, and just a touch of envy as Odin always embraced Thor first.

He hadn't seen Alina once today, he thought, as they waited inside. The clouds outside were starting to rain and the gentle rumble of thunder could be overheard. Yet he wasn't partly to blame for this, she had started it after all. In fact, Loki couldn't help but feel a bit…smug.

* * *

Alina stood on the wooden pier, waiting. She wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the growing chill and kept her feet within the middle. The water, normally so calm, lapped angrily at the edges and cold rain started to fall.

Outside of bathing and drinking it, Alina hated water. Of all her skills, swimming wasn't one of them.

"You're looking well. I dare say you might even have a little color in your cheeks"

Turning to face Bane, Alina saw he now had a cloak about his person, shielding him from the rain. Always a step above her.

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to see how you're doing"

"I'm fine" Alina said, forcing herself to stay still as Bane walked closer.

"Yet he's still not dead"

Alina fumed silently. He knew she was in a limited position, watched nearly every hour of the day and still trying to get her bearings.

Bane reached forward, taking her hand, lifting it.

"Nice dress. You wear a lot of green"

Alina yanked her hand away.

"I don't exactly have a choice" she snapped, her green eyes scathing into his blue ones. "You're no help either"

"You're not thinking of making the same stupid choice your precious mentor did are you?"

Alina stiffened, her face turning warm, swallowing hard at the memory.

"No" Alina said quietly, biting her lip. It still hurt to think about after all these years. Sighing, Bane pulled her in for a hug he must've thought she wanted. Alina jerked back, pushing him away. Bane merely chuckled but made no move to touch her again.

"You know Amantha made her own choices"

"You didn't have to make me watch" Alina snarled.

"You wanted to" Bane shot back.

 _I wanted to help her. Yet I was just a child, incapable of helping anyone._

Amantha, mentor to Alina, had laid down her life in exchange for the life of her lover, the ultimate bargain an assassin could make, a life for a life. Hands bound behind her back, an arrow to the heart. Alina had never screamed so loud in her life, scratching and kicking at a then-younger (but still older than her) Bane's hands.

Amantha wasn't the kindest of people yet she was all Alina had had at the time. Now she was no more than a memory and a fuel for nightmares.

* * *

It wasn't until they all sat down to supper that Loki began to feel cold. He found this incredibly odd as it was quite warm in the castle and since he was descended from Jotunheim, the cold never quite seemed to bother him as it did then.

The sounds of laughter and conversation were drowned out and replaced by the sound of falling rain and wind.

What the devil was Alina doing outside? How had she even gotten outside? Surely the guards would've stopped her…

He frowned, staring into his goblet of untouched wine as Loki felt the annoyingly familiar tug of Alina's mind.

Fear, regret, loss, pain, desperation, all he could sense magnified from her usual disposition.

* * *

Alina let out a choking noise as Bane grabbed her by the neck and pushed her until the only thing keeping her out of the water was his hold and the sheer force of the tips of her feet. Her fingers dug into his hand, eyes wide as she struggled to hang on.

"Tell me how"

"How what!?" Alina spluttered.

"Better get specific real fast" Bane said over the thunder and wind. Icy water sloshed over Alina's thinly-slippered feet.

He wanted to know how Alina planned to murder Loki. The truth was Alina had no idea nor the means at the moment.

"P-Poison" she breathed quickly, if anything to get him to stop. Sure enough, he loosened his hold yet he didn't let go as Alina took a small step towards him, away from the freezing water. She was already well and truly soaked, shivering.

Bane leaned in, his breath on her ear the only warmth she felt;

"You're a terrible liar" he said. Alina barely opened her mouth before Bane gave her a rough push backwards.

* * *

A sudden paralyzing cold engulfed Loki, even worse than before. He lurched forward, the cup spilling across the table, almost as if a frost giant's hand was gripping his lungs.

"Loki!" Frigga immediately rose from her chair, all conversation ceasing.

"Brother?" Thor put a hand on his shoulder.

With considerable effort, Loki mentally yanked himself back to the present so he could at least breathe and get his bearings.

"Loki darling what is it?" Frigga cupped his cheek, her eyes filled with nothing but a mother's concern.

"Son?" said Odin.

Taking a huge shaky breath, Loki kicked his chair back and bolted from the dining table.

* * *

Alina couldn't tell which way was up or down. She might as well have been in a pit full of icy needles, her body stinging all over, starting to go numb as the stormy water felt like it was crushing her. It was a cold that went straight to her core.

Strangely enough, the only warmth she felt as her vision began to fade was an almost ghost like memory of Loki's mouth on hers. Yet it was indeed ghostlike and not nearly enough. She barely registered the dark figure swimming towards her.

* * *

Loki dragged them both onto the wooden-planked surface of the pier. The very air stung his throat. The way Alina looked right now; she could've passed quite possibly for a northern ice witch. Her very skin felt like ice and snow, pale in contrast to her dark hair. Her dress clung to her body, lips starting to go blue.

Loki pushed down on her chest, giving compressions until Alina was forced to cough up several lungfuls of water. Coughing, sputtering, and heaving underneath Loki, Alina tried to get a grip on things. Yet all she was focused on was how cold she was.

What she did not expect was a hard slap in the face.

"You _stupid girl!_ " Loki snarled _"Why would you do that?"_

Alina's brain didn't quite process that Loki was currently under the assumption that Alina had just attempted suicide.

"And _I never_ -"Loki grabbed her arm, practically ripping the sleeve back to reveal the cuts on her arm "-want to see _this again. Ever_ "

The wind knifed at them both, Alina blankly staring at Loki. He had just saved her life. Unsure why, Alina's shaking fingers reached forward, touching his face. Loki might have softened a bit before he saw his family approaching. He roughly scooped up Alina in his arms, not even noticing their shocked expressions as he walked by them all, back to the safety of the palace.

* * *

As Helen attended to Alina, not daring to protest Loki's presence in the room, Loki basically scavenged the entire room in an attempt to find whatever sharp object Alina had used on herself. He graciously kept his back turned.

He snapped his fingers as soon as Alina was dressed in a nightgown and robe;

"Tea" he snapped at Helen who quickly left, but not before giving Alina a comforting pat on the arm. Alina stood rather numbly before crossing her arms.

His tone was only slightly tempered as he found the book under her pillow, holding it up before her eyes.

It was green with title in gold lettering as well as what looked like a moth and a gothic house. The title read: Crimson Peak.

"Where did you get this?"

Loki had even read it before yet it meant that Alina was wandering, somehow getting around. She had seemed rather tired lately.

"Doesn't matter" Alina said, her voice tinged with a mix of melancholy and numbness. "Can't read a damn thing"

Loki frowned.

"You can't read?"

"No. Go ahead. Have a laugh"

"Do I look like I'm laughing?" Loki said. Yet he decided he shouldn't press her now. Alina slowly sat in front of the fire, gently rocking herself into a comforting rhythm. Her eyes narrowed as Loki sat beside her.

"You might've picked a more pleasant story" he said.

"How was I supposed to know?" Alina grumbled.

"Would you like to find out?"

Yet Alina found she didn't even protest as Loki started to read out loud.


	16. Dreamcatcher

**Hmmm. This one feels a bit...rushed but otherwise alright to post. :) I hope you all like it :)**

Alina was now accompanied everywhere by Helen and unbeknownst to her, Loki literally sat by her door every night to make sure she stayed put. She didn't know if he was trying to give her space, was angry at her for what he thought was a suicide attempt, or he simply didn't care. Helen informed her that Loki was away for the day.

Yet a little after lunch as Alina was trying to teach herself to read and progressing at a maddeningly slow pace, her presence was disturbed as Thor himself suddenly entered her room. He looked worried and anxious and a little worse for wear. A few cuts adorned his face and arms, as well as being caked with mud and filth.

Startled, Alina immediately stood.

"My apologies-we-…" Thor paused to catch his breath.

"Can….Can I help you?" Alina cringed at the question. Thor was basically a god.

"We were hunting Bilge-snipe…a fool's task I know-"

"Bilge-snipe?" Alina frowned in confusion. Thor frowned back.

"You know huge scaly big antlers?" Thor said, imitating antlers with his hands on his head. Alina just looked at him, confused. Thor lowered his hands, looking slightly disappointed. "You don't have those?"

Alina slowly shook her head.

"Well they are repulsive" Thor said.

"And…you were hunting one?" Alina said slowly.

"It's Asgardian tradition, every year" Thor explained though none of this made sense to Alina. She didn't like to partake in hunting for mere sport.

"I don't understand" she said.

"Ah yes well the talons of the beast can be quite venomous if the proper salve is not applied. Yet Loki insists it is only a scratch and while my brother is a proud warrior-"

"…And you…want me to…talk to him" Alina sighed.

Thor nodded.

"Why me?" Alina asked, crossing her arms.

"He likes you" Thor said simply.

"I doubt that" Alina said, staring at the floor.

"He started getting very upset when he found out what you…did" Thor shifted nervously from foot to foot.

It was only as Alina walked beside Thor and they eventually stopped outside a rather large green door with gold designs that she suddenly felt a pit of unexpected dread inside her. This was Loki's room…She knew where it was now…also she was expected to go inside…his room…now all that was left was to obtain a weapon, pick a night and then…finish her assignment.

She jumped slightly as Thor gently put one of his quite large hands on her shoulder to gently shake her from her thoughts…or perhaps it was encouragement as he handed her a small clear jar full of a purple liquid.

Alina wrapped both hands around the jar to keep them from shaking.

* * *

At first glance the room seemed empty. Alina assumed he might be changing or in the bathroom, her eyes pausing to adjust to the slight darkness of the room as the curtains were drawn. There were several books, a large bed, a chest or two, armor, weapons and clothing…all neatly organized. A horned helmet that looked to be made of gold rested on a stack of books.

Alina gently ran her finger over the tip of one of the horns. It looked rather heavy and uncomfortable and not the sort of thing one might wear in a battle, at least to Alina's thinking.

The silence was almost stifling and Alina distinctly felt she should not be here.

Yet as she turned around with the intent of going to tell Thor that Loki was not here, she nearly collided with Loki. Caught off guard, the jar flew from her hands and she felt herself stumbling backward. Yet in a rapid move, Loki grabbed her wrist and caught the jar.

He wasn't wearing a shirt and also had what looked like the claw marks of a very large tiger on his arm.

"Even for Thor, this is quite the reach" he scowled. Alina did her best to maintain his gaze before quickly grabbing the jar out of his hands.

"Fine then. I'll just leave you to writhe in agony and give my thanks to the Wilge Snipe"

"Bilge snipe" Loki corrected, growling. "And I'll not tolerate another attempted suicide" he added.

"It wasn't-" Alina quickly stopped herself. It wasn't like she could actually explain to Loki that she'd been pushed by her handler, another assassin, who had given her the job of carrying out the murder of Loki himself.

"Hmm?" Loki tilted his head, almost taunting her. He knew she was lying…He just didn't know why.

"It…was an accident" Alina said slowly, not caring if Loki believed it or not. She tried to pull her wrist but Loki held it firm. "Let go of me" she said, her voice faltering slightly.

"Or what?" he snapped.

"I'll-"

"Oh please enlighten me, you excuse for an assassin" Loki snarled.

Alina's consideration for Loki's plight went out the window. She dug her fingers into the wounded portion of Loki's arm. His eyes widened and he let out a hiss of pain.

" _Ow!_ " Loki let go. "What was that for?!" he snapped. As if he didn't know.

"I asked nicely and you didn't return the favor" Alina crossed her arms.

"You cheated" he growled.

"Because you're the one to lecture me on cheating" Alina scoffed before noticing the roll of bandages on the floor. Sighing, she picked it up.

"Sit down"

Alina could have sworn Loki was sulking as he sat down on the bed. In the middle to be more precise, which meant Alina would have to quite literally get into bed with him.

Pushing away a sorely tempting thought of pushing a pillow over his face until he stopped kicking, Alina cautiously sat on the edge of the bed, pouring some water from the pitcher at his bedside table. Getting as close as she dared, Alina wet a portion of bandage and gently dabbed at his arm, keeping her eyes fixed on the wound.

"What happened yesterday?" Loki asked.

Alina swallowed, mulling her answer over carefully, still doing her best not to look at Loki directly.

"I told you….It was an accident. I thought I'd left a book out there"

'"A book which you can't even read" Loki replied.

"It doesn't mean I can't try" Alina unscrewed the jar, dipping her fingers into the purple substance, eternally grateful that her fingers weren't shaking as she dabbed it over the wound.

"And was it there?"

"No" Alina replied. "Like I said…an accident. And if you really think I'd kill myself over a few stupid unfounded rumors by idiot women who have nothing better to do, than you really don't know me very well at all"

"Or for the day before?"

Now Alina felt the blush return to her cheeks.

"Don't flatter yourself." she said quietly, putting the jar down and starting to bandage Loki's arm.

"Look at me" Loki suddenly said. After a moment's trepidation, Alina did as he asked with her eyes on his. He reached up, gently touching her face. Alina remained utterly still even as he gently pressed his forehead to hers. Neither of them said anything for a good while…until;

"Can I ask a question?" Loki asked, not moving from his place, keeping his voice quiet.

"You can ask it" Alina replied softly.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

"Notice what?"

"If you'd perished the other day"

"I don't know. I've pushed it from my mind" Alina sighed, pulling back and getting to her feet, checking the bandage on his arm once more before turning to go.

"You talk as if I'm a stranger" Loki remarked. He didn't expect Alina to immediately spill her innermost heart to him but she could at least make an effort to tell him things.

"The strangest" Alina replied before slipping out the door.

The problem wasn't that Loki was strange or a stranger…the problem was that he was becoming entirely too familiar.


	17. Cold Feet

**Happy New Year to all :)**

Halfway through another dreadful sewing circle, Alina finally decided she'd had enough. Firstly, her needlework left much to be desired. Secondly, it wasn't even raining outside. And thirdly, if Alina had to hear much more about the upcoming Solstice Dance, how handsome so-and-so was, and who would get to be a prince's partner for the first dance, she was likely to jab her sewing needle into someone's eyes.

Calmly setting down her sewing circle, Alina simply got up and left the doorway. She wasn't a child. And even though Alina had no real idea of what to do now, better to be alone with her thoughts than with that gathering of hens.

* * *

Loki's enchantment froze mid-cast. He had been working on it for weeks and was finally going to show Frigga. Yet it was no fault of his. Despite the twinge of annoyance he felt that Alina was wandering yet again, he was surprised at the lightness of her mood. She felt much better wherever she was, her mind not set in the past or ridden with anxiety, fear, pain or any of the other morose moods she'd displayed in her time here.

He was, for lack of a better word…intrigued.

* * *

Alina had never seen so much…color. A red that wasn't associated with violence but grace and beauty. A green that wasn't a poisonous vial, blue that wasn't the color of asphyxiated lips, purple that wasn't bruises, etc. The flowers were familiar yet alien at the same time so she knew none of the poisons they might contain. Even the fountain that bubbled happily, she didn't have to drown anyone in them.

She sat down on a carved stone bench, sitting quietly and trying not to do something stupid like break out in song or spin. For all she knew, Bane was creeping around the corner and would crush her enjoyment in an instant.

Alina forced herself to relax, which was harder than it looked. She lessened the near-constant tension and rigidity of her body and lay down on the stone bench, closing her eyes, hearing nothing but the fountain, perhaps a bird and enjoying the warm sun.

Remaining still like this, with her eyes closed was a bit of a struggle at first but Alina gradually started to feel comfortable…maybe even a little bit drowsy. Moments like this didn't come often, if at all. The dark blue of her dress helped to absorb the sun's warmth and Alina felt herself start to drift off…

* * *

There was just enough room on the bench for Loki to sit by Alina's feet. It was nearly the most relaxed he'd seen her…minus the singing incident. He tossed the apple he'd picked earlier into the air before catching it. Even with the smack of it falling into his palm, she didn't wake. Loki almost hated to disturb her. Yet it was now or never, before he could talk himself out of this.

At the crunching sound of Loki biting into the apple, Alina's eyes snapped open as she slowly lifted her head from her arm.

"Good afternoon" he said, looking strangely smug. "Shouldn't you be elsewhere?"

"For God's sake Loki, I'm not a child"

"I hadn't noticed"

"There's only so much I can take of those women. I just don't care about dresses, hairstyles, or how handsome Prince So-and-So is" Alina sighed, sitting up.

"Then what do you care about?" Loki asked, taking another bite of apple. Alina stopped, frowning. No one had ever asked her that before. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you envy them"

Alina crossed her arms, as if daring Loki to elaborate.

"The simplicity. When they wake up, the most they have to worry about is maintaining a social status. When you wake up, you have to decide how you're going to fight to live another day. Yet it's all you know. Anything else would be an uncertainty that you can't afford. They can't understand your world just as you can't understand theirs"

"If that's true then why do you insist on my involvement in 'their world'? Why not just send me back?" Alina asked.

"To that I dare not hazard an answer…It's a change of pace more than anything else" Loki shrugged. He immediately knew from the flare of anger that that had not been the right thing to say.

"Well I'm glad I can amuse you" Alina replied coldly.

"It was a compliment" he chuckled. Alina looked away. Of course she wouldn't see it that way.

"I've had enough of those" she sighed.

"Might I offer one more then, with your permission?"

Permission… Another thing Alina wasn't used to being asked for.

"Well in terms you understand, you owe me a favor then"

Alina turned her face again to look at him, confusion marring her expression.

"I saved your life"

Alina nodded.

"I'll concede it. What do you want?"

"As I'm sure you're aware, the Solstice celebration is nigh upon us" Loki started. "A prince can't well show up unaccompanied"

"I thought princes could do whatever they wanted. You certainly do" Alina replied "Continue" she added, though Alina had a sinking feeling where this was going.

"Perhaps you might fulfill your debt by accompanying me tomorrow night" Loki said before he could stop himself.

Alina felt her face warming in a way that had nothing to do with the sun. She should say no. She should say that Loki would have to find some other amusement for the night. She should ultimately refuse what was sure to be an utter and complete disaster. Yet the only think Alina could think to say was;

"I…I can't…I can't dance"

Loki suddenly held out his hand as if in solution.

"It's not hard"

"In your world" Alina replied quietly before hesitantly placing her hand in his as he rose so they were both on their feet.

"Are you not in my world now?" Loki asked his hand growing warm in hers. Her hand on his shoulder, his on her waist, their remaining hands linked together, Alina hardly noticed as they moved about the garden. Slowly at first but gradually picking up speed as Alina went through the steps. She only faltered slightly when Loki raised her arm in a twirl, putting her hand on his chest to steady herself. After a few minutes, they started again.

Alina had just felt that she had gotten the feel of it when;

"Sir?"

Both of their attentions were diverted by the sentry suddenly standing there.

"Odin requires your presence"

Loki frowned. Normally he might be glad of the Allfather's attention…but not now strangely. Alina's face was flushed, either from the dancing or being interrupted. A bit of both, he detected.

"I'll come by tomorrow evening then" he said, turning his attention back to her.

"Did I say yes?" Alina asked, her voice slightly out of breath.

"Just now" Loki smiled.

"Fair enough" Alina said before she could think about it.

* * *

" _What_?" Loki could not mask the undisguised horror at Odin's words.

"Princess or not, she'll make a lovely companion" Odin replied. "We need to keep good terms with the Northern Realm"

Loki had just been informed that he was expected to keep company of a Northern Princess at the dance. They weren't witches but they did possess abilities beyond the norm, magics of their own. Perhaps Loki wouldn't have minded before…but Alina. They had gotten through one conversation where she wasn't ready to kill him, it had almost been…friendly. Instead of giving way to social graces and formalities, he could speak plainly with Alina who wouldn't put on a façade simply because of his royal standing.

"Who knows? You might even find you take an interest in her" Odin remarked.

Loki found he was beginning to feel quite sick.


	18. A Bird Without Feathers

**:)**

Alina ran her hand down a solid oaken bow that was on display on the wall. She felt a sudden pang inside her. Amantha's weapon of choice had been a bow and arrow. Whilst she was supposed to be following after a far-too excited Helen for a dress, Alina couldn't help but be distracted by a sudden onslaught of memory.

* * *

 _At age eight, she had been remanded to Amantha's care. Amantha had been the one to find her after all and whilst even Alina knew Amantha wasn't happy with this arrangement, she tried to do everything that was asked- or rather demanded of her. Amantha was tall, her hair short and blond, and eyes of a light-green._

 _"Stop crying. It's just a squirrel"_

 _"It didn't do anything!" Alina sobbed._

 _"Do you want to eat?" Amantha demanded._

 _"B-But-"_

 _Amantha had fixed Alina with a stare that Alina forced herself to stop crying, only allowing a sniffle or two as she skinned the dead squirrel while Amantha made a fire. When they were done, Alina dug a small hole to put the bones in, kneeling and folding her hands, bowing her head. Amantha watched her with confusion._

 _"What are you doing?"_

 _"What you do every night 'S no different" Alina sniffled._

 _"I think God will forgive you" Amantha frowned. Around her neck hung a small silver cross that Alina wouldn't dare touch in the rare event Amantha took it off._

 _Yet when Amantha was buried, the cross was gone. Despite tearing apart the tent to find it, Alina had never been able to find the necklace. She had clearly seen it as Amantha was executed, an arrow to her heart, blood staining the silver metal…_

"Alina?"

Helen's voice broke through Alina's cobweb of memory, a gentle asking. Alina shook her head, clearing her mind and returning to the present.

"Must I?" she found herself saying.

"It's a ball. You'll look out of place next to everyone else" Helen explained. Alina frowned slightly.

"I already do"

"Nonsense" Helen replied as they continued along. Alina just hoped she wouldn't pass out if a corset was required.

* * *

"Sulking? That's more like it" Thor grinned as the two launched arrows in the archery range. "Although the smiling was a nice change of pace"

"I haven't the faintest idea of what you're talking about. But remember I have a loaded weapon in my hand" Loki retorted.

"Did she refuse?"

"What?" Loki, a bit startled, took his eye off the target, to glare at Thor.

"I take it you asked Alina to accompany you?" Thor landed a near-perfect shot. Perhaps he might hit dead center if he wasn't talking so much.

"There are perfectly good other reasons to sulk" Loki grumbled. "Besides, even if I had, the Allfather wouldn't allow it"

"Since when has that stopped you?" Thor asked.

"It didn't" Loki fired shot after shot.

"So Alina said no"

"No. And therein lies the issue" Loki muttered. On the one hand, he wanted for Alina to have a nice time. She so rarely had those. Yet since Odin was serious about him accompanying some Northern she-elf, he would be more than likely forced to maintain a stranger's attention than even look at Alina. She might think he had played some trick on her when it was quite the opposite.

Yet Alina was mortal and the elfling women were known for their near-perfect grace and beauty. If he slighted one, things could be very unpleasant.

* * *

Several measurings later, Alina was in the middle of putting her original dress back on when suddenly a loud howling, like that of a wolf, rent the air, even within the thick walls of the castle.

Close-by by the sound of it.

"Is that a wolf?" Alina asked.

"Sometimes one will wander into the town every now and then"

Alina felt the corners of her mouth go down. Wolves were normally nocturnal creatures.

"It sounds like it's in pain" she said.

"Probably stepped into a trap" Helen replied.

The howling continued, nearly overpowering the sound of men's voices.

Before Alina could quite think, she suddenly set off, ignoring her better judgement and Helen's insistence as she went in the direction of the howling. Fear and pain was evident in the animal's cries and Alina may have been able to kill a full-grown man or woman without blinking, animals were quite another matter, along the same lines as children.

She had grabbed a robe, tying it loosely over her underdress, not even caring as she suddenly ran out of a doorway and into the street. A carriage nearly ran her over, splattering her with a dapple of mud, but she simply didn't care.

Alina soon caught sight of a shape, obscured by the metal of a cruelly wrought iron net, tufts of dark colored fur showing as the wolf snarled and spit in an attempt to break free.

"Odin might give us a good price for its pelt. Look how big it is! It could even pass for a direwolf!"

Despite the fact that Alina was winded and out of breath and the two iron-clad soldiers would probably think her a lunatic, she practically threw herself between them and the trapped animal.

" _No_ " was all she could think to say. Alina knew that you had to kill to eat. Amantha had taught her so. But these two weren't killing to eat.

"Who in the seven hells are you?" One of the men sneered, looking her over.

"That mortal wench Loki brought home" the other replied. "Isn't he looking for you?"

Alina was focusing on catching her breath, hand moved backward in a little attempt for balance. She felt a handful of steel nudge her hand and noticed that the wolf had stopped thrashing about so. In fact, it seemed to register her presence.

" _No_ " Alina repeated.

"Is she an idiot d'you think?" They talked as if she weren't there. Alina simply spit in their direction to let them know that she could hear every word. The taller one raised an eyebrow.

"Clearly if she runs about like that" he said. "Well Loki probably likes the ones with a bit of fight"

Alina quelled her rage by sliding her fingers throughout the net holes to touch the fur on the wolf's head.

The men had barely taken a step toward her when;

"What is the quarrel here?"

They all turned…to see none other than Odin himself. Allfather. King of Asgard. Son of King Bor. A god. He could probably kill Alina with a flick of his wrist.

The men immediately knelt but Alina remained on her feet. Odin didn't seem particularly bothered nor pleased by this. He took in her disheveled state and unmistakable mortal form.

"From whence do you hail?" he asked.

"…." Alina tried to figure out what he meant. Hail came from the sky...and was quite unpleasant. Was he insulting her?

"She's a Midgardian. Your son brought her from a campaign"

"My son?"

"Loki sir"

"This is news to me"

* * *

"Now no cheating or illusions Loki" Sif admonished.

"No need to cheat what's natural" Loki smiled, giving his horse a pat on the neck. The three of them were on horseback, ready to race.

"A natural liar" Thor said.

"Brother you wound me"

"Alright on the count of three" Fandral announced. Loki readied himself on the horse, a born rider. And then he felt it again.

He closed his eyes, trying to shake himself mentally. Under his lids…was Odin. Two men. He opened them again. Nothing but the track before them. Slowly he sat up.

"Oh" He shook his head. He knew this had to come…but he had been hoping to put it off for as long as possible.

"Loki?" Sif asked.

"You've been acting awful strange lately" Volstagg said between munches of an apple.

"Seven hells" Loki grimaced, steering the horse and taking off in the opposite directions.

* * *

"What care you for the life of one beast?" Odin asked.

"I…I don't know I just…" Alina stammered. Perhaps it was the fact that she'd heard the wolf's cries in the first place. Had she not heard them at all, she surely wouldn't have made such a scene.

"You kill for a living do you not?"

"I-" Alina stopped. "How-?"

"One such as you could only have come across my son in a brothel or a battle"

Alina's face went bright red. She cared not how or with whom Loki spent his nights but the fact that Odin would automatically jump to that conclusion was more than a little disconcerting.

"It hardly matt-"

It was at that moment, atop a black steed, Loki himself arrived. He quickly dismounted, his eyes wide and his face etched with a mixture of concern…and anxiety if Alina wasn't mistaken.

"Father I can explain-"

"Then why didn't you?"

"Well I thought perhaps at the appropriate time and Alina needed to adapt-"

"Alina is it?"

Loki swallowed.

"Yes. As you can see she needed some…refinement"

"She just spit at me" one of the men spoke up.

Normally at the suggestion that she needed 'refinement', Alina would have been offended. But she could see that Loki was trying to save both their skins. Odin's face showed little to no emotion.

"An appetite for blood is not so easily curbed" he remarked.

"Well she hasn't killed anyone here" Loki pointed out. "And clearly she has a regard for life if she's-" Loki paused, taking a moment to feel the Bond –"If she defends the welfare of this wolf, who probably wandered off and will go straight back to the forest"

Whilst the two were talking, Alina took a moment to straighten herself up a bit, pushing the hair from her face and righting her dress.

"And why would you take a Midgardian soldier under your wing?"

"A plot" Loki replied.

"I don't understand"

"She has knowledge of a plot to target one of the royal family" Loki kept his face calm whilst Alina was struggling to do just that. Loki wasn't wrong yet Alina must act if nothing was amiss. "In return for her knowledge, I took the liberty of sparing her life"

"And at whom is this plot intended?"

"Me" Loki replied, without missing a beat. His gaze briefly met Alina's before he loosed the net from its stake, allowing the wolf to move out from its oppressive weight. "And if you remember, I never liked wolf-trapping either as a boy"

The wolf nudged Alina's hand once more, as if in thanks before it quickly took off, presumably back to its forest abode.

Alina crossed her arms, using all of her mental will to look Loki in the eye as he approached her.

So he knew. Of how much Alina wasn't certain but the chance was high that he knew Alina in particular had been assigned with the task of his demise. And yet he wasn't killing her on the spot for whatever reason.

But then Alina knew of all things that Loki liked to play with his food before he ate it.


	19. La Valse de L'Amour

**Hmmm. Writer's block...Possibly my greatest nemesis next to the Reading Slump.**

When Alina suddenly awoke in the early morning hours, she sensed immediately something was off. As she rubbed at her eyes, Alina felt an unfamiliar metal against her eyelid. Looking at her hand, there was now a single ring adorning her finger.

Slowly, warily Alina extricated it from her hand, holding it up to her eye. Her fingers shook, so much so that she could barely see the tiny needle underneath the band that was meant to wrap around her finger. A silver metal that encompassed a glittering green jewel…or perhaps not a jewel at all but a fake one.

Alina dropped the ring as if it had burned her as she raked her fingers through her hair and buried her face in the covers.

So it was to be tonight.

* * *

It was a sight to behold…if you weren't used to such festivities. Ladies were swathed in varying colors, fabrics, dripping with jewels, glittering with light shining and filling every corner of the castle. The rooms were awash with joy, celebration, and of course gossip.

Yet it had been an hour already. Loki might have been mildly interested as he held conversation with a woman of such ethereal beauty, she would hardly seem real. Yet everything was different. He offered to fetch the esteemed Northern princess a drink, not only to have a moment to breathe but also to slip into Alina's mind. It wasn't hard, given at this month-old Bond and the fact that he could feel Alina's emotions warring with each other.

 _"I'm sure he's on his way" Helen said. Alina's tone wasn't…upset exactly. It was…when one knows something to be true yet is conflicted at whether trying to believe the best of the situation or convince themselves that they never had an interest in the first place._

 _"He doesn't strike me as the type who would be late" Alina replied, looking at the ceiling. She could barely look at herself._

 _She thought he had done this on purpose. But just then…a new thought formed in Alina's mind. It was barely a shred of an idea_ before Thor jovially clapped his hand on Loki's shoulder, bringing him back to the present.

"Where's your friend?" he asked, grinning.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Loki frowned, annoyed and dismayed. He would have to break away from this absurd event at some point, Odin's wishes be damned.

He stiffly handed the princess a glass of something without so much as a glance.

* * *

Alina swallowed several times, her heart beating like mad. The halls were empty as she walked through them, feeling a bit ridiculous and half paranoid that Bane would show up any second. The ring on her finger felt like it was an iron weight. She had been invited after all and had as much right to be there as anyone…Her motivation was death not dancing. Death not dancing. Death not dancing.

She repeated the mantra to herself as she walked.

* * *

It had been an hour.

"Loki my darling what is it?" Frigga put a consoling hand on his arm.

"Nothing" Loki snapped.

"Is it the dancing? You're a wonderful dancer"

"It's…more of…the choosing"

"Well it's just a dance and you need only dance with her once" Frigga said, nodding towards the princess at the other end of the room.

"Father seems to have a different view"

"So do you. You always have"

Loki felt a slight measure of relief but the anxiety was still there. He would have to ask someone to dance and wasn't about to ask some random court woman.

He could feel his mood sinking when he noticed Frigga was smiling, a knowing look in her eye, seeing something behind him.

"Did Thor finally convince someone to match his lumbering-"

Loki turned. And in that moment his anxiety was through the roof…though it wasn't his. It was Alina's as she was there, coming down the steps.

Her arms were bare, silver straps just off the shoulder as she wore a gown of a fluid silver material that just nearly skimmed the floor. Her dark hair was pulled back into a smooth neat bun, a few strands hanging loosely about her face. She kept a near perfect façade of expressionlessness, but Loki knew she was already regretting this and strongly considering running back to the solitude of her room.

All thoughts of Odin, the Northern princess, and things people might say were all wiped from Loki's mind on the spot. He slowly approached Alina, a smile turning his lips upward, the first he'd had all day.

"You're late my lady" he said.

"My apologies…your highness" Alina replied, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Not to worry. Your beauty makes up for it" Loki took her hand, gently lifting it to his lips, his eyes never leaving Alina's.

"And your excuse?" Alina's tone was calm, non-accusatory but still questioning. Loki chuckled.

"Father can be rather…persuasive" Just the tiniest bit of a frown marred his smile.

"So I've heard" Alina took a small sigh. It looked as if he wasn't completely guilty. Compared to her assignment tonight, Loki was a lamb…a lamb for slaughter.

She felt a slight tug on her finger, almost as if it was itching to stick the needle into Loki's neck of its own accord. Her eyes flicked downwards but she barely had time to think before Alina suddenly felt the warm skin of Loki's hand on her cheek directing her gaze back to his.

Her heart fluttered in her chest and her eyes threatened to water…

"Is something the matter?"

Loki felt something was off, something more than just the setting.

"I…" Alina steadied herself, her eyes hardening "I thought you wanted to dance" she said, forcing her voice not to waver.

"Unless you object"

As Thor had clearly chosen his partner and was ready to begin, the music suddenly started to play before Alina could act on her better instinct and beg Loki to pick someone else.

It was a dance indeed, one so swift and so delicate yet all the more deadly with Loki unaware of a poisoned needle within inches of his skin.

Alina was soaring and crashing, living and dying, flying and falling all at once. She was perfectly happy in Loki's company yet so perfectly miserable. Perhaps that's why she barely noticed it was a bit more than the simple waltz they had danced in the garden.

As the dance concluded, over nearly as soon as it had begun, Loki dipping Alina nearly to the floor, her hand on the back of his neck…He felt it, just the very tiniest prick of the needle to his skin and the torrent of sudden misery in Alina's mind despite her face being unreadable.

They were nearly frozen in that position, eyes locked on each other's before he gently leaned his forehead to hers, closing his eyes.

Her mind was screaming: ** _Forgive me, forgive me, , ImsorryImsorryIMSORRY_** …..All unaware of his ability to hear such a tormented plea.

In another swift second, they were upright again, bowing to each other in gratitude. Loki idly wondered how long the poison, were that it effective, would take to kill him.

"Excuse me" Alina said, her voice trembling ever so slightly.

"Alina-"Loki made to reach for her hand but Alina gave a subtle shake of her head as she bowed again and moved away from him.

Loki remained still for a moment before determinedly walking after her.

* * *

As Alina escaped into a series of corridors, she yanked the damned ring from her finger and practically threw it away from her.

Tears started to come down her face, hot and unbidden.

"Pretty dress"

Alina whirled around to see Bane, standing there, calm as ever.

"You look upset" he remarked "It doesn't match"

"What…" Alina fought to speak amidst the tightness in her throat "What did you-"

"You mean what did you give him?" Bane corrected her.

" _You-_!" Alina raged forward, seeking to wrap her fingers around her antagonist's throat before;

"Alina?" It was Loki, his voice signaling he was just around the corner, averting her gaze. When she looked back, Bane was gone.

Loki could hear his breathing, his heart beating at an unhealthy pace, the halls spinning before him, turning his home that was as familiar as the back of his hand into a labyrinthine maze. He closed his eyes, shaking his head and attempting to see straight though he felt like he was about to vomit.

His eyes fell upon six identical Alinas and his arm stretched forward, though it felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. Her face…It was pale even in the moonlight, streaked with tears and despair.

Alina rushed forward, grabbing Loki as they sank to the floor. Her dress was a molten river of silver ripples, spread out around them.

His face could only discern a few mere inches over her shoulder as her hand clutched the back of his head, her crying out in despair ringing in his ears, a sound Loki would not forget for several lifetimes.

Loki's tongue felt rather thick, so much so that he couldn't even get a word out…a word to tell her that it was alright, that he forgave her, that he understood, that she shouldn't cry so.

He just barely registered several guards running forward before everything went black.


	20. Please Don't Go

**Ugh. My apologies for this short thing. I'm still trying to fix whatever fuels my creative energy here as it appears to have broken down again.**

Loki was lying strangely still in his bed. Apparently the Healers had worked their skills enough to save his life but he still needed to take it easy. His eyes were closed as Alina forced herself to keep looking down at him. Bane was waiting, this she knew, to guide them both home from this world where neither of them belonged. He stood on the other side of the bed, watching her as always.

In his weakened and unconscious state, it would be the easiest thing in the world to plunge a knife into his chest or slit his throat. Yet as the blade glimmered in the moonlight, Alina's eyes burned as they had been for the past two days. Her mind was already made up as she slowly laid it on Loki's bedside table and sat on the edge of his bed.

Instead, she leaned over and pressed her lips to Loki's forehead. When she opened her eyes, they were filled with such rage as she directed her gaze upon Bane who looked just as angry. A boiling heat of rage and self-loathing was bubbling over inside her as she slowly put a hand on the other side of Loki. Her body was in a near-defensive shift, like a mother tigress defending its young.

"Don't be fucking stupid" Bane snarled.

Alina reached for the knife with the other hand.

"Either you take me or you take nothing back to that shit-hole" Alina growled.

"Are you really doing this to yourself?" Bane sighed, as if he were dealing with a small child lashing out in anger.

"Nothing I haven't done already" Alina spat.

Bane looked for a second as if he was considering before Alina, with shaking fingers, put down the knife. She was willing to accept the consequence, her life for Loki's. It took all of her will not to struggle as Bane slammed his hand over her mouth, other hand seizing the back of her head and dragging her from the room. He then slammed her head against the wall to render her unconscious.

* * *

Loki's eyes opened. He silently stared at the ceiling for a bit before slowly sitting up. His eyes immediately registered the knife and he knew that Alina had been there.

Here. There. Where?

Where was Alina?

There would probably be a manhunt for his attempted killer yet Loki already knew such an act would be fruitless. He could sense she was already gone.

* * *

Alina jolted upwards, momentarily panicking when all she saw around her was mist and dark water. Then the events of the past two days resurfaced in her mind. It didn't mean she was thrilled to be shivering in a small boat, on dark water, alone with Bane.

"Good morning princess" he said as he steered them along.

Alina merely looked at her hands. He was going to call her whatever he wanted, no use telling him to stop or trying to overpower him. She suspected that was why he'd chosen this particular route and method of travel.

"You're awfully quiet"

"I made a deal to die, I'm not about to spend my last few hours in conversation with you" Alina replied, not looking at him.

"No one but yourself to blame for that, it's not my fault you compromised yourself"

"I just don't like killing friends"

Her head snapped to the side as Bane let out a noise that sounded like he was trying not to laugh.

"What?" she snapped.

"Friends don't kiss each other like that" he smirked.

In spite of the chill air around them, Alina flushed a deep scarlet and looked away.


	21. Together

***Sighs* I think I did this one alright :)**

Though Alina knew she deserved every ounce of misery that Bane was sure to make her wallow in, a quick death was still preferable to sharing a room with him in a seedy inn on the outskirts of Asgard. She had quickly shed her fine green dress for one of a simpler make. She was suited to the role of a peasant more than that of a princess and the grey color fit her mood.

Alina could barely sleep with Bane's arm tucked possessively around her waist. He woke if she needed to go to the bathroom and held her against him yet surprisingly made no move to touch her.

Yet after three days of being cooped up in this room with him, Alina wanted nothing more than to pitch herself out the window.

* * *

Loki wanted to near scream in frustration. He could feel, even from what must have been a considerable distance, Alina's ache, and her pain and how she felt he must absolutely loathe her….yet how it wouldn't compare to how she loathed herself.

She had meant more to him in a week than some women he had known his entire life, even without their Bond.

He wanted to show her that she still had a chance to change, a chance at a life that didn't revolve around violence and constant vigilance. Loki wanted to teach her to read, to write and watch her bake despite her worth being far more than that of a mere servant.

Yet here he was, his own body rebelling against him as he vomited once more into a bowl. The damned Head Healer had made him drink a potion to bring about the aforementioned effect simply so he could see if there were any remains of poison in Loki's system despite Loki's insistence that he was FINE.

There was a reason he had hated the Healer's visits ever since he was a child.

* * *

Alina woke on the fourth day to the rain pattering on the window. Moving as slow as she dared until Bane's arm lay on the mattress instead of her, Alina crept across the room, her heart pounding with every creak of the floor.

She wasn't going to escape. There was nowhere to escape to. Alina simply wanted a smidgen of time alone and fresh air.

As the cold rain fell on her face, Alina practically gulped in lungfuls of the air despite the fact that she could smell garbage.

* * *

"She's still here"

Heimdall said before Loki could even open his mouth as he finally escaped the confines of the palace.

"How long?" Loki asked.

"Three sunrises" Heimdall answered. "She is accompanied"

Loki waited for Heimdall to continue before sighing;

"Who?"

"A mortal who has been in Asgard for several weeks. I have been watching him"

"And you mention this now?" Loki snapped.

"I thought it Alina's place" Heimdall was as unflappable as ever. "And yours"

Loki blinked rapidly. Of course…It was not uncommon for Heimdall to hear a bit of everything from idle palace gossip to his conversation with Frigga about the bond.

"Tell anyone and I'll cast enough illusions to make your head spin" Loki snarled, having neither the time nor the patience for this "Where is she?"

* * *

The mud seeped through Alina's shoes but she still couldn't bring herself to go back inside.

"I thought you hated water" Bane growled, standing behind her.

"Figured I'd have a bit of fresh air before I die" Alina snapped.

What she did not expect was for Bane to start chuckling. It sent a shiver up her spine that had nothing to do with the rain as Alina turned to look at him. He had quite the smug look on his face. Something was wrong…worse than usual.

Alina had barely gotten it in her head to ask what when Bane grabbed her arm and practically hauled her back inside and upstairs. She jumped slightly as he slammed the door shut behind them.

"W-What's so funny?" Alina stammered her voice a combination of uneasiness and the cold wet seeping through her.

She leaned her back to the door as Bane took a step toward her…and another until he was on the verge of stepping on her feet, he was so close.

"The deal is for your life…or something of equal measure"

Alina swallowed.

"I have nothing else to give"

Bane arched a brow and leaned his fist on the spot over her head. Alina swallowed harder;

"I have _nothing_ " she said again, firmer.

"So you slept with the bastard then?"

"Wh-" The implication crashed on Alina's head like a ton of bricks as she ducked and made to bolt past him although there was nowhere else to run.

Bane grabbed the back of Alina's head, his other hand clamping around her mouth.

Her back was slammed none too gently against the hard mattress. Her eyes welled up; nothing more than whimpers escaping through Bane's fingers.

"I'll make you a deal" Bane said, as if he wasn't enjoying this. He was now on top of her. "You behave and you can have this"

Alina would've spat out that she didn't want anything except for him to leave her alone…until he reached into his pocket, a tiny silver cross on a chain….Amantha's…the bastard had had it all his time…It sent waves of fury and rage as Alina dug her nails into the hand over mouth, snarling as tears came down her face. Bane merely smirked and tossed the necklace to the other side of the room.

"After" he smirked as Alina writhed underneath him. Bane finally removed his hand from her mouth as she immediately sat up yet found herself crushed against his body, face into his shoulder, his hands ripping the back of the dress and canvassing her scarred skin. "There's more where that came from if you don't shut up" he hissed.

Her dress was shoved up around her legs that were parted with Bane's knee when the door suddenly whipped itself open, startling them both as for one wild hope of a second, Alina dared to think she might be spared punishment.

Yet the door creaked on its hinges, revealing an empty hallway.

"Don't move" Bane sighed as he got up, off of her to go stand in the doorway. Alina slowly laid back down, curling up into a ball, her entire body shaking as she grabbed a pillow and buried her face in it.

 _I deserve this…I deserve this…_

* * *

Loki, Cloaked, watched as Bane wandered off down the hallway. Thanks to Loki's illusions, Bane would wander around for at least a good hour in an endless maze of the same hallway, following a hooded figure.

He stepped into the room where he could just make out Alina huddled on the bed, crying, her dress torn, her only thought of how she deserved this torment for what she had done.

Loki moved until he was standing at the edge of the bed, in front of her unseeing eyes. He knew it wouldn't do to frighten her further as much as he wanted to just scoop her up and walk out of there.

If he touched her and willed it so, she would be able to see him unlike the first time he had grabbed her hand. Gently, he extracted the already-dampened pillow from her grip. Her eyes were shut, her thoughts thinking it was Bane, wanting to drink in her despair.

Yet even as she went still, her fear increased exponentially as his hand touched her face. His hands were not rough like Bane's.

"Am I really so worse?"

"What are you doing here?" Alina's voice was rough as if she hadn't used it in days, her eyes still closed.

Her thoughts spiraled between the fact that she was going mad and that this was a bizarre coping mechanism and the other possibility that he was only here to finish what Bane had started.

"I think it's fairly obvious" Loki replied. "You wanted to die, not be violated until you couldn't walk"

"And you're here to avenge yourself?" Alina sighed.

"Avenging only pertains to the case of the wrongfully murdered" Loki replied calmly. "You didn't murder me"

"I tried" Alina swallowed.

"You didn't want to"

"You can't know that"

"I do"

Alina's hand clutched at his sleeve and Loki took this as the only answer he could at the moment. Her eyes were still closed even as he took her in his arms, as if she thought she were dreaming and wanted to stay asleep for as long as possible.


	22. Heart of Stone

**Writer's block is a sticky fiend. I do my best to clean my mind of it. Well enjoy anyhow and leave a review if you'd be so kind :)**

Alina half expected to wake up and find it was all a dream. Yet her ripped dress had been replaced with a nightgown and it dawned on Alina that she was in Loki's bed. Except for the bath incident, he hadn't hurt her despite several opportunities to do so. Trusting people wasn't exactly Alina's forte…yet with Loki it seemed worth the effort.

Where was he anyway?

Alina shifted to the edge of the large bed to see the Asgardian prince asleep on the floor, his back to her. It was the second time she'd seen him without a shirt. He looked strangely smaller without his usual green or black leather garb.

As silently as she could, Alina slid onto the floor next to him. She was surprised to find that despite yesterday and earlier reservations that she didn't even shake as she wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his back.

It was a few minutes before either of them said anything.

"That's a first" Loki murmured, not moving.

"Mm-hmm" Alina sighed.

"You're sure you don't prefer the dungeons?" Loki replied.

"I'm fine" Alina gave a light shrug, enjoying the quiet pace and tone at which they were talking.

"I'm not" Loki sighed. Alina frowned, retracting her arms as Loki turned over on his other side so he was facing her.

"Why's that?" she asked, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"I should've slaughtered him where he stood"

"You saved me. That's enough"

Loki wanted to articulate the rage that had seethed through him when he had come for her…yet it wouldn't help Alina to nurse the scars of her past. He gently touched his forehead to hers and the two lay on the floor in silence, neither one making any sudden moves.

"I…" Alina didn't know what she wanted to say. She didn't know if she could say anything…at least with words. There was nothing but her own self to restrain her. Freedom was just as dangerous as it was liberating.

She shifted slightly…Her mouth was a mere few inches from Loki's, the two of them hardly daring to breathe.

A kiss with no deception…no lies…A kiss Alina wanted and feared at the same time.

"I…I don't want to ruin this" Alina whispered.

"This?" he replied, his fingers gliding down her cheek. Loki could have easily closed the gap between them. Yet Alina had to know that she had a choice in all of this…whatever this was.

"Friends…They don't come easy…but you…I don't know what you are…exactly" she swallowed.

"Try finding out then"

"That would take a while"

"We have time" Loki assured her. Alina sighed before wrapping her arms around him, her head under his chin.

Loki normally would have had things to do. Yet lying on the floor, holding Alina in his arms seemed to be the only task of importance.

Alina shifted slightly at the knock of the door breaking the silent spell between them.

"That'll be breakfast" Loki yawned, reluctantly extricating himself and going to the door to pick up the tray that was usually left outside for him.

The lemon cakes on the tray were a strange splash of color in the room. Alina frowned as she felt a slight tug at the edges of her memory. She quickly shook her head, using her thumb and forefinger to take one.

The kick that followed the sweetness was something Alina wasn't quite ready for, as the floor seemed to fall out from under her and the semi-darkness of Loki's room vanished.

 _It was warm…sunlight streamed in from the windows, several scents assailing Alina's senses. She felt much smaller than she was used to…she was still sitting, watching as a woman moved in front of her. The woman was smiling and humming a strangely familiar tune._

" _Open up Lina" she said, holding a strange cake in her hand…similar to the one in Alina's hand. The sweet tang filled Alina's mouth as she munched appreciatively. Alina didn't know why but tears soon filled her eyes. No wonder this memory was so unfamiliar…because it was happy, distinctly so._

 _The woman in front of her was her mother. Yet she was already starting to slip away like water through Alina's fingers._

" _Alina?"_

The damned compulsion to blink soon won over and the golden haze of Alina's memory was replaced by the green concern of Loki's eyes, his thumb on her cheek.

Loki had had to ask. How could he possibly explain to Alina that he had glimpsed her buried memory? Yet he yearned to tell her that she was so much more than rage and hurt.

"I…." He watched as she hurriedly wiped her tears with the sleeve of her nightgown. "I think…I think I should go….get dressed"

Loki wanted to tell her to stay, but given the events of yesterday, Alina had to know that she was free to go wherever she wished, when she wished despite the fact that Loki found himself wanting more and more of her presence.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

Alina nodded rapidly.

"Yes I just…People…might talk" It was a pathetic excuse Alina felt but it was the only one she could give. "Thank you" she said, quickly getting to her feet.

Despite the fact that Loki understood as Alina left, Loki couldn't help but feel his usual morning appetite had vanished. A trickle of loneliness that was entirely his own had manifested itself which is why when Thor banged on his door twenty minutes later about a rogue band of Jotun loose in the city, Loki was more than willing to go with his friends.

He had promised Alina time...even if he had more than she.


	23. I Want You To Know

**I think I may be nearing the end. Yet I have a good feeling. As always, enjoy :)**

Lady Sif had kindly offered to stay behind and keep Alina company and it was a company that Alina readily accepted.

"There's to be a feast tonight" Sif remarked, polishing a dagger.

"You seem to have a lot of those" Alina replied. "Strange. So many things in life to celebrate"

"You'll warm to it in time"

Alina sighed in response.

"That seems to be an issue. I…I'm grateful for everything Loki has done for me…It's just a drastic change is all. I don't know what to do now"

"I wish I could be of more help. Have you tried talking to Loki about it?" Sif asked. Alina shook her head.

"He's…distracting" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"I imagine so. He is handsome" Sif grinned. Alina blushed.

"Not…not like that. I…I look at him and all I can see is…hope. Yet I can't seem to shake the feeling that it will be ripped away from me the moment I decide to embrace it"

"All will be well in time Alina. Even as a mortal, you'll find your place here"

"I want to" she replied.

"Well by Loki's side is a good start"

"We're not…We're just…friends"

"Alina we get foreign princesses from faraway lands, witches, elves, of indescribable beauty. Warrior women of grace and ferocity, wielding magic the likes of which never cease to amaze. And I've not seen Loki look at one of them the way he looks at you"

Alina sighed again.

"With them he's all smiles and charm, the politeness of a prince. Trust me, there's a difference"

"Which is?" Alina asked, more curious than defensive.

"He cares"

Alina wasn't sure how to respond despite the fact that everything in her wanted so badly to believe it. Yet as they walked along to the front of the palace to see if Loki and company had returned home, Alina felt a sudden jolt.

What if Loki didn't return?

The thought had spiraled out of nowhere. Yet it wasn't one Alina could easily banish. So she tried to ease it with the reminders that Loki was a talented fighter and more than capable of handling himself.

Alina wanted to care too. She wanted to care so much that it hurt and to let herself care without fear that the one good thing in her life would be taken. It would be easier on herself and Loki. This was her life now…a new life…and starting it with Loki didn't seem so bad.

Alina closed her eyes, in a silent wordless prayer, her finger gently touching Amantha's cross that now hung around her neck. It was the only cross she wanted to bear instead of the one she'd been carrying her entire life. She could lay it down now.

The sound of hooves registered upon her ears and Alina's eyes opened. Her gaze immediately fell upon Loki astride his horse and still lingered as he dismounted.

Alina's heart seemed as if it had suddenly birthed wings, urging her forward. She noticed not Sif, not Thor, nor her own inhibitions.

Loki's face formed a wide smile that made her heart ache…almost as if he felt the same as she.

Alina reached her arms out, clutching him to her, her face in his shoulder. It took Loki only a second to return her embrace.

"Is something the matter? You're trembling" Loki asked.

Forgetting an audience Alina hadn't noticed in the first place, she pulled back only slightly before pressing her mouth to Loki's.

If Loki's kiss was intoxication, Alina never wanted to be sober. If heaven was his arms around her, Alina would gladly die.

"What's this?" Loki murmured, their foreheads touching.

"I'm…trying" Alina replied, swallowing.

"That's all I would ask" Loki smoothed her hair away from her face.

"I know"

And for once, Alina felt that she did know.


	24. Say You Love Me

**About two more chapters to go I think.**

A feast on Asgard was not near as formal as the dance Alina had previously attended…and thankfully it was not riddled with anxiety or murder. Yet Alina was still adjusting so she wore an overdress of black silk over a lighter silk grey underdress. Her mood was steadily lighter and her mind was practically tattooed with the thought of Loki's mouth on hers.

To tell the truth, she felt rather ridiculous…but happy at the same time…yet not so happy that she wanted to appear as if she'd lost her head. Just one step at a time…she'd take this one step at a time.

But as Loki's hand was warm in hers, Alina felt she could take several steps at once. And in a way she did as they had spun through several dances.

Servants went back and forth, relighting extinguished candles, filling cups and having an occasional dance themselves.

Yet it was well into the night and Alina's feet ached just slightly as she took a seat to breathe and take a sip of her wine.

"I'll go see if Mother wants a dance" Loki of course sensed Alina's mortal need. He was even considering trying to explain the Bond to her later. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and weaved through the crowd.

Alina sighed. She wondered how she would ever keep up with him, staring to the dark wine of her cup. It was her second and probably her last. Alina had never been much of a drinker.

"A mortal and my son…Most interesting"

Alina practically choked and looked to see she was sitting next to Odin, the Allfather. Perhaps two cups of wine was more than she thought it was or Alina wouldn't deign to sit here. Sif, Loki, Frigga were one thing but Odin was entirely another.

Had he been sitting there before she sat down? He could probably kill her with a snap of his fingers.

"It's…new sir"

"It's generous" Odin replied. She could not read his tone. It wasn't accusing but it wasn't warm. Alina slowly breathed out but it suddenly didn't feel like enough.

"Given everything, yes…He could've killed me but instead he showed me mercy"

"And you him it would seem"

Alina's heart stopped for at least a second. Odin knew what she had done or at least tried to do. Her throat tightened. Though Loki understood and forgave her, it still wasn't something she liked to think about. In fact it made her feel quite ill.

"Excuse me sir" Alina said quickly, rising from the table. Her heart was beating fast and she felt slightly dizzy as she exited the room and into the hall. She hadn't realized her cup was still in her hand and quickly set it down.

Alina shook her head several times yet each breath she took seemed to be not enough. The faster she breathed, the harder it became.

Something was wrong.

A pain blossomed in her stomach. Alina put her hand to her stomach. She hadn't eaten or drunk much.

"Too much dancing?"

Slowly, Alina turned…and found Bane standing there…Usually Bane was smug…but this was different.

"Y…" Alina choked…and dropped to the floor, her fingers digging into the marble as her stomach heaved and a few quarter sized drops of blood escaped her mouth.

"No wonder you didn't drink back home" Bane said, suddenly standing over her. Before Alina could move away from him, a simple push of his foot sent her on her side.

"I…" It was as if the poison was a tightening noose around Alina's neck.

"Hmm what's that?" Bane crouched down.

"I...am...Home" Alina hissed, the edges of her vision starting to blur. She let out a whimper as a fresh wave of pain wracked her body and Bane mockingly stroked her face with the back of his hand.

"It's a good thing you wore black. I would've preferred a good fuck but…" He shrugged "I'll take what I can get I suppose"

Alina wanted to give Bane no satisfaction out of her pain…but another cry escaped her mouth. She couldn't move, the very act of doing so was like she was made of solid iron, weighted to the floor.

Yet Alina somehow felt the strength to rake her nails down Bane's face.

The next few minutes were a blur of movement...Someone threw someone else…A dark silhouette that was achingly familiar hovered over her, rapidly enfolding her in their arms…something about Healers…Yet Alina found she could barely hold on…or even say Loki's name.


	25. Stay

**...One more to go...Stay tuned for the epilogue.**

Alina looked so pale and stiff on the healing cot, as if she were already dead despite the Bond telling Loki otherwise…not yet at least.

Loki was rigid in his seat, head buried in his hands. He didn't know whether to be grateful for the Bond that told him Alina was dying or to yearn for the agony of waiting. At least the waiting would have a ray of hope.

The Healers solemnly informed him that the most they could do was ease the pain of Alina's passing…yet the poison had been in her stomach too long for them to stop its effects in time.

Her pain might be ending yet Loki's was just beginning. Nothing reached his ears as Thor, Frigga, Odin, The Healers quietly discussed…nothing but the sound of Alina's slowing heartbeat.

Rigidly, hands clenched at his sides, Loki moved passed all of them, towards the doorway that would take him to Alina one last time.

Alina's dress had been replaced with a white medical gown. He couldn't tell what was skin and what was fabric, her skin was so pale, never to flush red or pink again.

Her eyes were closed but as he took a seat on the edge of the bed, Alina's head tilted in his direction.

For several agonizing moments, neither of them said anything. There was a chill to her hand even as he took it.

"Hmm…That's nice" Alina murmured.

"Your dying?" Loki replied, his voice soft.

"Your hand" A small smile flitted across Alina's face and her eyes opened. "It's warm" she added.

"No one ever accused me of being warm"

"I don't accuse…I know"

A short bitter laugh escaped his mouth. Alina slowly took him in her arms, Loki allowing himself to be lowered onto her as she held him. Part of him worried that he would crush her…and another part wanted to wrap around her like a vine and never let go.

"If you love me…I will love you" A cracked melody carried itself into the air around them, moving up and down as a butterfly with a torn wing.

Loki all but screamed. She wanted to love him and even now, still did. Her heart had begun to beat for him when he had taken her home…yet it couldn't beat now, not when it mattered the most.

He gently touched his forehead to hers.

"I…" But the words couldn't come, even though they were clearly there.

And then Loki heard it.

The last beat, the final intake of breath, her eyes half closed. He was her last glimpse.

And Loki felt nothing…no connection…no spike of emotion…nothing.

Alina wasn't breathing. Her heart wasn't beating. Loki could not feel her.

Why had she gone where he couldn't follow?

Loki felt the nothingness more for a split second, a barren wasteland before it felt like something had burst open inside him, violently ripped, radiating cracks that ensured he would never be whole again. He shook, his mouth open but no sound came out as his fingers dug greedily into Alina's body, clutching her to him as if he could gain one more insight, one more emotion, just one more…one more anything.

* * *

Bane sat calmly in his cell below the surface of Asgard. Technically he had committed no crime, at least to his mind. Alina had been a mortal and so was he. Their business was purely of mortal grounds, no concern of Asgard. She had broken her blood-soaked covenant and had to pay the price.

No Asgardian here had cause to harm him.

His cell was brightly lit, as opposed to the dark dungeons of home. Yet it was just as bare.

He sat, his back to the wall. The only thing he regretted was not having the opportunity to fuck Alina before her death. He would have liked to see her eyes, the shock, fear as it would have been her first time.

Yet his brightly lit corner was suddenly slightly dimmed. Standing over him was the bastard Loki himself.

They said nothing, simply looking at each other. Loki looked like his face was made of stone, smooth and unreadable. No signs of distress at all.

"You hide it well" Bane finally said.

"Hide what?" Loki replied.

Bane tilted his head. He didn't have to say it.

"I'll give you credit. She never liked anyone"

"Who?" Loki swallowed.

"Alina was a tight piece of-!" Loki's hand shot out and suddenly it was as if a tightened noose was around Bane's neck before he could finish the sentence. He choked and scrabbled at his neck as if he could loosen whatever was there.

"You don't get to say her name" Loki replied.

Darkness suddenly flooded the cage, obscuring Bane's inner view and anyone who might have looked at Bane's cell at the moment. His world was reduced to darkness and a scathing pair of violent red eyes.

It wasn't long before the screaming started.


	26. Epilogue Bad Dream

**2 Years Later…**

Phil Coulson could see her eyes hurt so he moved forward to close the hospital blinds.

"Better?" he asked. A single nod affirmed his answer.

Coulson took a seat in the chair next to the bed. Both were strangers to one another, each questioning the other's intentions. HYDRA stained everyone's trust.

He set a pencil (the tip was dulled so it wasn't sharp enough to be used as a weapon) and a piece of paper on the table.

He went absolutely still as the Jane Doe sat up reaching up, snagging his chin in her fingers. Her grey eyes searched his blue for at least two seconds before she finally sat back again. She seemed disappointed, sighing once and looking at her hands.

"Can you tell me your name?" Coulson asked gently. If those damn HYDRA bastards hadn't taken that too.

Jane Doe swallowed but nodded. She breathed out slowly, her gaze fixed on the pencil…the pencil which moved and rose of its own accord. It was a small movement and wouldn't hurt…much.

A slight pounding in her head was the result of her efforts but it was bearable.

Coulson pulled the paper towards him:

 **LINA.**


	27. Note

The continuation of this story is now up. It's called Deeper Than Death.


End file.
